Ext. a field in summer a hot hazy day.
Over by the dry stonewall there are two girls aged around six years old. Their fashions suggest that this is the seventies. One of the girls has a nasty graze on her knee, the other is looking at her with concern.
Girl 1
Does it hurt?
Janet
Yes
Girl 1
Why aren’t you crying?
Janet
Will crying stop it from hurting?
Does it hurt?
Janet
Yes
Girl 1
Why aren’t you crying?
Janet
Will crying stop it from hurting?
Girl 1 stares at Janet with a slightly worried expression on her face, then after a pause opens her mouth to say something…
Black screen. The sound of a powerful engine running at really high revs.
Title:- Screw up
2
Fade from black.
INT. A car – Night
John Baskey slowly wakes. It’s night. He is an upside down car strapped into his seat. His nose looks broken. He turns to his wife who is unconscious next to him in the passenger seat.
John
Janet. Janet babes can you hear me? I think we crashed. Er, I, er I can’t see…
Janet. Janet babes can you hear me? I think we crashed. Er, I, er I can’t see…
Fast fade to black
Fade from black
John
Uhh, Jan, Janet I think I passed out there. You need to wake up I, I c,can’t, er, I, sh…
Uhh, Jan, Janet I think I passed out there. You need to wake up I, I c,can’t, er, I, sh…
Fade to and from black
John
Shit, went again. Janet wake up. I can’t get out of this seatbelt I can’t see if Mandy’s alright. Mandy? Can you hear me darling? Ma..an..dyy.
Shit, went again. Janet wake up. I can’t get out of this seatbelt I can’t see if Mandy’s alright. Mandy? Can you hear me darling? Ma..an..dyy.
Fade to and from black
John wakes up again its morning. There is a lot more light in the car but we can’t see out of the car because leaves are obscuring all the windows. The car has stopped revving.
John
Jesus, It’s morning. How long was I out that time? Where the hell are
we?
Jesus, It’s morning. How long was I out that time? Where the hell are
we?
EXT. above the car –day
The car is surrounded be the leaves from a tree.
The camera pulls out and away to show that the car is upside down in the top of a large tree. The tree is growing out of the bottom of a cliff face. Half way up the cliff face just above the top of the tree there is a road with a barrier. Near the tree the barrier is broken. A fast flowing river flows past the bottom of the tree.
INT. Inside the car
Janet Basky begins to stir. She groans.
John
Janet! Janet! Come on babe wake up, wake up please. I can’t see if Mandy’s alright. Can you see her? Janet!?
Janet
Whu?... John?
John
Ha ha, oh thank god. Janet baby I’m really worried about Mandy. I can see her and I haven’t heard a… Janet? Stay awake. Janet?
Janet
Wh… What happened?
John
I don’t remember. We must have crashed.
Janet
Is Mandy ok?
John
I can’t see. She’s right behind me. Can you see her?
Janet! Janet! Come on babe wake up, wake up please. I can’t see if Mandy’s alright. Can you see her? Janet!?
Janet
Whu?... John?
John
Ha ha, oh thank god. Janet baby I’m really worried about Mandy. I can see her and I haven’t heard a… Janet? Stay awake. Janet?
Janet
Wh… What happened?
John
I don’t remember. We must have crashed.
Janet
Is Mandy ok?
John
I can’t see. She’s right behind me. Can you see her?
Janet turns her head. It seems like it hurts her to do so. She looks to Mandy. Mandy is sitting in her booster seat but there’s a branch covering her face.
Janet
There’s a branch in front of her face. I can’t see her. Mandy I’m coming darling.
There’s a branch in front of her face. I can’t see her. Mandy I’m coming darling.
Janet undoes her seat belt and falls to the ceiling. The car moves slightly. Some branches creek. Some branches start to snap. John looks Janet straight in the eye.
John
I love you
Janet
…
I love you
Janet
…
The car tips out of the tree, falls in to the river and quickly sinks.
Black
3
Ext. The riverbank - day
Janet wakes with a gasp. There is a man knelling over her as if he had just given her mouth-to-mouth.
Jeff
(Out of breath) Oh thank god I thought you were gone for a moment then. You weren’t breathing. I just did what they do on the TV. I guess it worked.
(Out of breath) Oh thank god I thought you were gone for a moment then. You weren’t breathing. I just did what they do on the TV. I guess it worked.
Janet
My daughter. My husband. Where are they?
Jeff
Er, I couldn’t see any one in the back. Couldn’t see anyone at all. It’s pitch black down there. And I couldn’t reach the thing to undo your husbands’ belt.
Janet
They’re dead then.
My daughter. My husband. Where are they?
Jeff
Er, I couldn’t see any one in the back. Couldn’t see anyone at all. It’s pitch black down there. And I couldn’t reach the thing to undo your husbands’ belt.
Janet
They’re dead then.
Janet turns to look out over the water.
Fade to black
4
EXT. A nice house on a quiet street, Well to do. Middle class. – Day
Caption: -“Two weeks later”
Phil a middle aged man in a business suit, carrying a box is standing waiting at the front door. Janet answers the door.
Janet
Hello, er, Phil is it?
Phil
Yes Janet. How are you?
Janet
What’s this about? You do know about John? I got a card.
Phil
Yes, Sorry, Er, we, er, well we cleared out Johns desk the other day and there were a few personal items, some photos, bits and bobs. You know, we just thought you should have them.
Janet
Oh right. Thank you, come in.
Hello, er, Phil is it?
Phil
Yes Janet. How are you?
Janet
What’s this about? You do know about John? I got a card.
Phil
Yes, Sorry, Er, we, er, well we cleared out Johns desk the other day and there were a few personal items, some photos, bits and bobs. You know, we just thought you should have them.
Janet
Oh right. Thank you, come in.
INT. Janet’s living room - day
The room looks like it came off the page in an Ikea catalogue. It’s obvious Janet and John had money and liked to show off their modern tastes. The house is a “lifestyle” It is however now in a mess, with mugs and glasses around the room empty pizza boxes and magazines here and there.
Phil looks round there is wine and wine glasses on the coffee table. We pan up from there to see via a clock on the wall that it is only 10.30 in the morning.
Janet
Do you want some coffee?
Phil
Er, no thanks, I can’t stop, you know how it is they really crack the whip over there.
Janet
Yes, John always said his boss was a wanker.
Phil
Er, actually I was his boss.
Janet
I know.
Do you want some coffee?
Phil
Er, no thanks, I can’t stop, you know how it is they really crack the whip over there.
Janet
Yes, John always said his boss was a wanker.
Phil
Er, actually I was his boss.
Janet
I know.
EXT. Back outside the house - day
Phil gets in his expensive car and drives away.
INT. Inside Jeff comes down stairs. He isn’t wearing a top.
Jeff
You were a bit harsh on him weren’t you?
Janet
John always hated him. I didn’t see any point in lying about that now. Johns career is going nowhere now that he’s dead.
Jeff
I think you need to get out of this house. What about going out to see a film one night? We could see a chick flick if you want I don’t mind
Janet
My favourite film is fight club. I’m not really in to chick flicks.
Jeff
Hey well that’s great action adventure it is. I think it will do you good to lose yourself in a film for a while.
Janet
Yeah maybe
Jeff
Jesus, Janet it’s only ten thirty. Is it not a little early for that?
Janet
Just because you’ve screwed me, doesn’t mean you get to tell me how to live
Jeff
I care about you. I worry about you. Weren’t you saying that you were going back to work today?
Janet
I work in A&E. Excuse me if I can’t face all that blood and death just yet.
Jeff
Have you thought any more about grief counselling?
Janet
Right, and what do you think a grief counsellor is going to say about my screwing the guy I met as my husband and daughter were drowning. Good idea? Keep it up?
Jeff
You need to talk to someone, if you can’t talk to me maybe…
Janet
Just leave it will you!
(Pause)
There are some things I can’t talk about. Some things I can’t ever speak out loud.
Jeff
Like what?
Janet
Weren’t you listening? I said I couldn’t talk about it. Some things you can’t say out loud. Some things need to stay secret.
Jeff
I’ve got a secret. A big one. If I tell you, you will hate me, and I could go to jail,
But I will tell you mine if you tell me yours.
Janet
Prison is nothing. Some times I think that if I say the words out loud I’ll go to hell.
You were a bit harsh on him weren’t you?
Janet
John always hated him. I didn’t see any point in lying about that now. Johns career is going nowhere now that he’s dead.
Jeff
I think you need to get out of this house. What about going out to see a film one night? We could see a chick flick if you want I don’t mind
Janet
My favourite film is fight club. I’m not really in to chick flicks.
Jeff
Hey well that’s great action adventure it is. I think it will do you good to lose yourself in a film for a while.
Janet
Yeah maybe
Janet picks up the bottle on the coffee table and fills up one of the glasses, and glides into the kitchen with it.
Jeff
Jesus, Janet it’s only ten thirty. Is it not a little early for that?
Janet
Just because you’ve screwed me, doesn’t mean you get to tell me how to live
Jeff
I care about you. I worry about you. Weren’t you saying that you were going back to work today?
Janet
I work in A&E. Excuse me if I can’t face all that blood and death just yet.
Jeff
Have you thought any more about grief counselling?
Janet
Right, and what do you think a grief counsellor is going to say about my screwing the guy I met as my husband and daughter were drowning. Good idea? Keep it up?
Jeff
You need to talk to someone, if you can’t talk to me maybe…
Janet
Just leave it will you!
(Pause)
There are some things I can’t talk about. Some things I can’t ever speak out loud.
Jeff
Like what?
Janet
Weren’t you listening? I said I couldn’t talk about it. Some things you can’t say out loud. Some things need to stay secret.
Jeff
I’ve got a secret. A big one. If I tell you, you will hate me, and I could go to jail,
But I will tell you mine if you tell me yours.
Janet
Prison is nothing. Some times I think that if I say the words out loud I’ll go to hell.
EXT. Out side the back of the house looking in through the kitchen windows.
Through the viewfinder on a video camera the picture is shaky as if the camera is on full zoom. Janet’s voice can still be heard but it is distorted a tinny.
Janet
I don’t care about your secrets. I don’t care about you. This isn’t a relationship. Go back to your wife.
I don’t care about your secrets. I don’t care about you. This isn’t a relationship. Go back to your wife.
EXT. Looking through the bushes at the back of the garden towards the back of the house.
The kitchen window, and Janet and Jeff inside. Half the shot is taken up by the back of some ones head. He has a camcorder up to his face.
Mystery man
I guess we all have our secrets.
I guess we all have our secrets.
INT. Back inside Janet’s kitchen.
Jeff
Can I call you later?
Janet
Why do you go on like this? What am I to you? What do you think this is?
Jeff
I don’t know, I worry about you that’s all.
Janet
Wasn’t saving my life enough?
Jeff
The Native Americans say that if you save some ones life you are responsible for that life until they save yours.
Janet
Yes well neither one of us is a Native American Jeff.
Jeff
I still feel responsible.
Janet
You don’t need to fix me. I was broke long before we met. Long before the crash.
Can I call you later?
Janet
Why do you go on like this? What am I to you? What do you think this is?
Jeff
I don’t know, I worry about you that’s all.
Janet
Wasn’t saving my life enough?
Jeff
The Native Americans say that if you save some ones life you are responsible for that life until they save yours.
Janet
Yes well neither one of us is a Native American Jeff.
Jeff
I still feel responsible.
Janet
You don’t need to fix me. I was broke long before we met. Long before the crash.
5
INT. The Living room in a small house.
Anna sits on a beaten up couch starring into space. She looks sad. She may have been crying. Jeff comes in the front door and shouts to Anna who he presumes is in.
Jeff
Hey there, baby doll, I’m back! Just let me take a piss will you. I’ve been on the road all morning.
Hey there, baby doll, I’m back! Just let me take a piss will you. I’ve been on the road all morning.
Jeff runs up stairs.
Anna
How was the conference?
Jeff
(Shouts down from the bathroom) A waste of time honey. They don’t need me there. If they ask me next year, I’m just gonna say no (quietly to himself in the mirror) Do you know what you’re doing?
Anna
(From the kitchen) Do you want a coffee or anything?
Jeff
(As he comes down stairs) oo yeah, love one. Do you remember how I like it?
Anna
Funny, you were only gone two nights. There you go.
Jeff
Thanks
Anna
So go on then what was it like? Anything useful?
Jeff
No the main thing Terry wanted us to go to was this thing on efficiency. He loves all that crap, but it was all just really obvious stuff. Identifying bottlenecks, watching out for duplication of effort. Stuff everyone knows. Boring really. The bar was nice.
Anna
Was there no scandal then?
Jeff
What do you mean?
Anna
Well aren’t conferences were loads of people play away?
Jeff
Oh yeah there was loads of that. I ended up in a couple of orgies with Terry and Liz
Anna
Urgh! Liz off reception? Sounds great!
Jeff
Well what she lacks in looks and personal hygiene she makes up for in doing everything
Anna
Right we need to stop this conversation now. I’ve got an image of you in between Terry and Liz and I don’t like it.
How was the conference?
Jeff
(Shouts down from the bathroom) A waste of time honey. They don’t need me there. If they ask me next year, I’m just gonna say no (quietly to himself in the mirror) Do you know what you’re doing?
Anna
(From the kitchen) Do you want a coffee or anything?
Jeff
(As he comes down stairs) oo yeah, love one. Do you remember how I like it?
Anna
Funny, you were only gone two nights. There you go.
Jeff
Thanks
Anna
So go on then what was it like? Anything useful?
Jeff
No the main thing Terry wanted us to go to was this thing on efficiency. He loves all that crap, but it was all just really obvious stuff. Identifying bottlenecks, watching out for duplication of effort. Stuff everyone knows. Boring really. The bar was nice.
Anna
Was there no scandal then?
Jeff
What do you mean?
Anna
Well aren’t conferences were loads of people play away?
Jeff
Oh yeah there was loads of that. I ended up in a couple of orgies with Terry and Liz
Anna
Urgh! Liz off reception? Sounds great!
Jeff
Well what she lacks in looks and personal hygiene she makes up for in doing everything
Anna
Right we need to stop this conversation now. I’ve got an image of you in between Terry and Liz and I don’t like it.
Jeff and Anna settle down on the couch there’s a soap on the TV. Anna rests her head on Jeff’s chest. After a moment Anna lifts her head and looks at Jeff
Anna
Jeff, while you were away, did you manage to think any more about a baby?
Jeff
Jesus Anna! I haven’t even sat down yet and you start with this shit.
Anna
I know sorry, it’s just that you said that you’d…
Jeff
Look, I’ve told you before. I don’t feel ready. I’ve only been gone two days. How much growing up do you think I can do in that time?
Anna
You’re 33 Jeff. You’re as grown up as you’re ever gonna be.
Jeff
I just don’t think I’m father material that’s all. And I don’t feel like I’ve had enough fun yet.
Anna
You can still have fun when you’re a dad you know. That doesn’t have to end.
Jeff
My dad never looked like he was having fun. He just seemed angry all the time. Shitty nappies and having no money doesn’t sound like fun to me.
Anna
I’ll do all that. I’ll change it feed it, look after it. It doesn’t have to change the way you…
Jeff
We can’t afford it. We barely make ends meet as it is.
Anna
I know but…
Jeff
But nothing. We went over all this before I left for the conference Anna. There’s no sense in dragging it all out again
Anna
I need a child Jeff. It’s like this ache in my gut you wouldn’t understand.
Jeff
Look Roger is retiring in a couple of months and they’ll probably give his job to Martin, which means that there’ll be a opening for team leader if I get it. Then. Maybe. But if you do want me to get that job, I’ll have to suck up more. Work late all that crap, at least until I get the job.
Jeff, while you were away, did you manage to think any more about a baby?
Jeff
Jesus Anna! I haven’t even sat down yet and you start with this shit.
Anna
I know sorry, it’s just that you said that you’d…
Jeff
Look, I’ve told you before. I don’t feel ready. I’ve only been gone two days. How much growing up do you think I can do in that time?
Anna
You’re 33 Jeff. You’re as grown up as you’re ever gonna be.
Jeff
I just don’t think I’m father material that’s all. And I don’t feel like I’ve had enough fun yet.
Anna
You can still have fun when you’re a dad you know. That doesn’t have to end.
Jeff
My dad never looked like he was having fun. He just seemed angry all the time. Shitty nappies and having no money doesn’t sound like fun to me.
Anna
I’ll do all that. I’ll change it feed it, look after it. It doesn’t have to change the way you…
Jeff
We can’t afford it. We barely make ends meet as it is.
Anna
I know but…
Jeff
But nothing. We went over all this before I left for the conference Anna. There’s no sense in dragging it all out again
Anna
I need a child Jeff. It’s like this ache in my gut you wouldn’t understand.
Jeff
Look Roger is retiring in a couple of months and they’ll probably give his job to Martin, which means that there’ll be a opening for team leader if I get it. Then. Maybe. But if you do want me to get that job, I’ll have to suck up more. Work late all that crap, at least until I get the job.
6
EXT. A country road - night.
Caption “Two weeks ago” Janet and Johns car drives through the night.
INT. Inside the car.
John
I thought my mum looked well didn’t you?
Janet
Yeah she looks great…
I. Er, you know I think she has a boyfriend you know
John
What makes you think that? Something she said?
Janet
No, nothing like that, I just found a mans shirt in the washing basket
John
What are you doing rooting around in my mum’s washing?
Janet
I wasn’t rooting around I just put a towel in with the washing that’s all and there it was on the top. A mans shirt
John
You’re sure it wasn’t one of my dads old ones?
Janet
No this was too small to be your dads.
How do you feel about that?
John
Er I don’t know, erm, good I think. I do worry about her being lonely. Why do you think she didn’t tell me?
Janet
Dunno, maybe it’s early days, she’ll probably tell you if it ends up being something
John
I guess
Janet
Are you okay to drive john?
John
Yeah I’m fine, you have a sleep if you want we’re still a couple of hours from home.
Janet
(Turning to look at Mandy in the back seat) Mandy’s dead to the world.
I thought my mum looked well didn’t you?
Janet
Yeah she looks great…
I. Er, you know I think she has a boyfriend you know
John
What makes you think that? Something she said?
Janet
No, nothing like that, I just found a mans shirt in the washing basket
John
What are you doing rooting around in my mum’s washing?
Janet
I wasn’t rooting around I just put a towel in with the washing that’s all and there it was on the top. A mans shirt
John
You’re sure it wasn’t one of my dads old ones?
Janet
No this was too small to be your dads.
How do you feel about that?
John
Er I don’t know, erm, good I think. I do worry about her being lonely. Why do you think she didn’t tell me?
Janet
Dunno, maybe it’s early days, she’ll probably tell you if it ends up being something
John
I guess
John yawns.
Janet
Are you okay to drive john?
John
Yeah I’m fine, you have a sleep if you want we’re still a couple of hours from home.
Janet
(Turning to look at Mandy in the back seat) Mandy’s dead to the world.
Janet turns to face forward. Closes her eyes and goes to sleep.
7
INT. Janet’s living room – day
Janet wakes up on the couch. She looks at the clock, it’s 6.45. She looks at the box of John’s personal effects from his office and then lifts the lid on it.
Janet
Screw that.
Janet closes the lid againScrew that.
INT. A large hallway in an expensive home. Phil comes in through the front door.
Phil
(Shouting to some one) Only me. (He looks in the living room no one is there)
INT. The (very nice) kitchen
a girl in a sixth form uniform is sitting on a barstool at the island in the middle of the kitchen flicking through a gossip magazine. Phil looks at her for a little too long before snapping out of his gaze
Phil
Hello Shelly, How was school?
Shelly
Oh, you know. How was work?
Phil
Oh you know. Have you eaten? I could get us some pizza. It might make a nice change from Chinese.
Shelly
I had dinner at Sandra’s.
Phil
Oh, right. Er, Good.
Hello Shelly, How was school?
Shelly
Oh, you know. How was work?
Phil
Oh you know. Have you eaten? I could get us some pizza. It might make a nice change from Chinese.
Shelly
I had dinner at Sandra’s.
Phil
Oh, right. Er, Good.
Phil looks at Shelly as she flicks through her magazine for a while. Shelly sees him looking at her
Shelly
Are you okay dad?
Phil
You look like your mum, you know
Shelly
Aw you miss her don’t you, come here
Are you okay dad?
Phil
You look like your mum, you know
Shelly
Aw you miss her don’t you, come here
Shelly gives Phil a big hug but Phil quickly recoils from it
Shelly
Why don’t you get your self a girlfriend?
Phil
I’ve got no time for that. And anyway where the hell do you start at my age?
Shelly
Why don’t you get your self a nice sexy new PA?
Phil
Shelly! I can’t believe you! I’m not having this conversation with you, and besides Margaret is very good at her job. I can’t just get rid of her in favour of some bimbo
Shelly
Yes but she does have a bit of a facial hair thing too
Phil
Right that’s it you and I are not talking about this any more
Why don’t you get your self a girlfriend?
Phil
I’ve got no time for that. And anyway where the hell do you start at my age?
Shelly
Why don’t you get your self a nice sexy new PA?
Phil
Shelly! I can’t believe you! I’m not having this conversation with you, and besides Margaret is very good at her job. I can’t just get rid of her in favour of some bimbo
Shelly
Yes but she does have a bit of a facial hair thing too
Phil
Right that’s it you and I are not talking about this any more
8
INT. Jeff and Anna’s home. The hallway - day
Jeff has his coat on and is opening the front door.
Anna
You’re going out?
Jeff
Yeah. Just for a drink with Carl.
Anna
But you just got back today. I missed you. I thought that we could…
Jeff
This is why I’m unsure about the whole kids thing. I still want a life you know!
Anna
I’m sorry, you’re right. Sorry. You probably need some fun after that conference.
Jeff
I won’t be too long.
You’re going out?
Jeff
Yeah. Just for a drink with Carl.
Anna
But you just got back today. I missed you. I thought that we could…
Jeff
This is why I’m unsure about the whole kids thing. I still want a life you know!
Anna
I’m sorry, you’re right. Sorry. You probably need some fun after that conference.
Jeff
I won’t be too long.
9
Int. Janet’s kitchen. A summers day.
The kitchen is spotless, not at all like we saw it earlier. Janet stands chopping carrots. There is a sudden crash sound from another room and Janet stops chopping but just looks straight ahead at the wall cupboards. A child starts crying but Janet does not respond. Mandy then comes running into the room
Mandy
Mummy, mummy!
Mummy, mummy!
Janet suddenly snaps out of her gaze and attends to her daughter
Janet
Aw, what’s the matter poppet? Did you hurt your self?
Mandy
It was the chair the chair did it
Janet
Well it’s a naughty chair then where does it hurt? Let mummy kiss it better
INT. Janet’s home - eveningAw, what’s the matter poppet? Did you hurt your self?
Mandy
It was the chair the chair did it
Janet
Well it’s a naughty chair then where does it hurt? Let mummy kiss it better
10
Janet is sitting on the couch watch television, a wine. Glass in her hand the doorbell rings. She snaps out of her daydream and goes to answer it, it’s Jeff.
Janet
I thought you weren’t coming round tonight
Jeff
I know but she was doing my head in.
Janet
You’re taking too many risks. She’ll get suspicious.
Jeff
I don’t care anymore
Janet
You need to start caring. If she kicks you out you are not moving in here. My husband’s only been dead two weeks.
Jeff
I’m sorry but I don’t feel like this when I’m with her.
Janet
Get a grip Jeff. You don’t know me. You don’t know me at all.
Jeff
I know you’re not like Anna. She’s so clingy and needy. I can’t breathe
Janet
All this talk about your wife is a real turn on for me you know.
Jeff
Right sorry. Is there any drink left in this place?
I thought you weren’t coming round tonight
Jeff
I know but she was doing my head in.
Janet
You’re taking too many risks. She’ll get suspicious.
Jeff
I don’t care anymore
Janet
You need to start caring. If she kicks you out you are not moving in here. My husband’s only been dead two weeks.
Jeff
I’m sorry but I don’t feel like this when I’m with her.
Janet
Get a grip Jeff. You don’t know me. You don’t know me at all.
Jeff
I know you’re not like Anna. She’s so clingy and needy. I can’t breathe
Janet
All this talk about your wife is a real turn on for me you know.
Jeff
Right sorry. Is there any drink left in this place?
Later half a bottle of wine sits on the coffee table next to the box of John’s things from the office. Jeff and Janet sit behind it on the couch.
Jeff
Is that John’s stuff?
Janet
(Leans forward and opens the box) Yeah I don’t know what they expect me to do with his post its and…Palm pilot? I didn’t know he had this.
Jeff
Aw cool. I seen these. It’s like a pocket pc. You can do anything on these. E-mail, camera, video, Internet, the lot.
Janet
Yeah, but why hide it from me?
Jeff
Well, it wasn’t hidden. It’s just in his work stuff. He probably used it only for work.
Janet
His job never left the office. Why would he need something so portable? Let me see it… It’s full of e-mails from women, Jo, Kristy, Katie, Saska, Becky, it’s all just girls.
Jeff
…
Janet
There’s a lot from this “Saskia”, “cum fuk me”, “wet 4 u”… Shit! The fuckin bastard was cheating on me. But how did he get so many girls? Where did he find the time?
Jeff
Let me have a look at that… Yeah, thought so. He’s been using a load of fuck buddy sites. All of them by the looks of it.
Janet
What the hell’s a fuck buddy site?
Jeff
Er, well if all you want is sex. No strings attached, all you have to do is go on one of these sites, and hook up with someone else who’s up for the same thing.
Janet
What and women use these sites too?
Jeff
Well it wouldn’t really work if it were all just men using it would it.
Janet
What kind of woman just puts her self out there like that?
Jeff
Well let’s find out. There’s a video file here.
Janet
Play it then.
Jeff
Are you sure you want to see this?
Janet
Just play it.
Is that John’s stuff?
Janet
(Leans forward and opens the box) Yeah I don’t know what they expect me to do with his post its and…Palm pilot? I didn’t know he had this.
Jeff
Aw cool. I seen these. It’s like a pocket pc. You can do anything on these. E-mail, camera, video, Internet, the lot.
Janet
Yeah, but why hide it from me?
Jeff
Well, it wasn’t hidden. It’s just in his work stuff. He probably used it only for work.
Janet
His job never left the office. Why would he need something so portable? Let me see it… It’s full of e-mails from women, Jo, Kristy, Katie, Saska, Becky, it’s all just girls.
Jeff
…
Janet
There’s a lot from this “Saskia”, “cum fuk me”, “wet 4 u”… Shit! The fuckin bastard was cheating on me. But how did he get so many girls? Where did he find the time?
Jeff
Let me have a look at that… Yeah, thought so. He’s been using a load of fuck buddy sites. All of them by the looks of it.
Janet
What the hell’s a fuck buddy site?
Jeff
Er, well if all you want is sex. No strings attached, all you have to do is go on one of these sites, and hook up with someone else who’s up for the same thing.
Janet
What and women use these sites too?
Jeff
Well it wouldn’t really work if it were all just men using it would it.
Janet
What kind of woman just puts her self out there like that?
Jeff
Well let’s find out. There’s a video file here.
Janet
Play it then.
Jeff
Are you sure you want to see this?
Janet
Just play it.
INT. Saskia’s bedroom – day
The image is poor quality, pixelated shot in a first person perspective. A smallish messy bedroom. On the bed a young bleached blonde girl is kneeling she is in her underwear, smiling at the camera.
John
Go on then
Saskia
What?
John
Show us some stuff then
Saskia
Like what?
John
Come on don’t get shy on me now
Saskia
(Pulling her bra to one side to expose a nipple) Is this what you want to see?
John
Oh yeah, that’s what I’m talking about. What else you got baby?
Saskia
(Joking) How’d you mean?
John
Shit girl! Have you never seen a porno or anything?
Saskia
Oh right. Do you want me to squeeze my tits while I masturbate?
John
Hell yeah! Do that, do it!
Saskia
I don’t think girls actually do that in real life. I know I don’t
John
If I was interested in real life I would be back home with the wife wouldn’t I!
Go on then
Saskia
What?
John
Show us some stuff then
Saskia
Like what?
John
Come on don’t get shy on me now
Saskia
(Pulling her bra to one side to expose a nipple) Is this what you want to see?
John
Oh yeah, that’s what I’m talking about. What else you got baby?
Saskia
(Joking) How’d you mean?
John
Shit girl! Have you never seen a porno or anything?
Saskia
Oh right. Do you want me to squeeze my tits while I masturbate?
John
Hell yeah! Do that, do it!
Saskia
I don’t think girls actually do that in real life. I know I don’t
John
If I was interested in real life I would be back home with the wife wouldn’t I!
INT. Janet’s living room.
Jeff
Are you alright?
Janet
Er, I don’t know. I, er, I never knew him did I.
Jeff
Look whatever happened it happened in the past. I don’t think there’s any point in…
Janet
Mail her
Jeff
What?
Janet
I can’t just leave this. We were together for ten years, and I don’t think I knew him at all… and when I come to think about it, he didn’t know me either. Send her a mail arrange a date. They are still called dates aren’t they?
Jeff
Why? What would you get out of that?
Janet
You can ask her what he was like.
Jeff
Ask her your self!
Janet
She’s gonna run a mile if I turn up some place and say “You used to screw my husband. What was he like?”
Jeff
What do you expect me to do?
Janet
Meet her, pretend you were his friend tell or something her he’s dead ask her what he was like with her.
Jeff
She’s not in this for depressing conversations about dead guys. She’s in it for the sex. That’s all she wants. It’s what no strings means. That’s what she’ll be expecting. Am I meant to say let’s not do it, let’s talk about my dead friend instead.
Janet
Well screw her first then.
Jeff
What!?
Janet
What’s the problem? She’s beautiful isn’t she? Why wouldn’t you want to screw her?
Jeff
I’m with you, that’s why!
Janet
You’re seeing me behind your wife’s back. What’s the difference?
Jeff
I can’t believe you! Since when does any normal woman ask her boyfriend to sleep with another woman?
Janet
“Boyfriend”? Is that what you think you are?... sorry… look I know it’s weird, but I was with this man for ten years. Married for six of those. We had a child together, but it looks like I didn’t know him. I didn’t know him at all. And he never knew the real me either. I need to know who he was. If the real him would have understood the real me.
Jeff
What do you mean the real you?
Janet
Maybe I’ll tell you one day. Are you going to do this thing for me or not?
Jeff
It’s too weird. Too mechanical. Where’s the emotion?
Janet
I’ve been asking that all my life.
Jeff
What?
Janet
Stupid idea I know. Sorry. Come on, let’s fool around!
Jeff
Finally you’ve started talking sense.
Janet
(Taking her t-shirt off) do you want something to drink?
Jeff
Are you alright?
Janet
Er, I don’t know. I, er, I never knew him did I.
Jeff
Look whatever happened it happened in the past. I don’t think there’s any point in…
Janet
Mail her
Jeff
What?
Janet
I can’t just leave this. We were together for ten years, and I don’t think I knew him at all… and when I come to think about it, he didn’t know me either. Send her a mail arrange a date. They are still called dates aren’t they?
Jeff
Why? What would you get out of that?
Janet
You can ask her what he was like.
Jeff
Ask her your self!
Janet
She’s gonna run a mile if I turn up some place and say “You used to screw my husband. What was he like?”
Jeff
What do you expect me to do?
Janet
Meet her, pretend you were his friend tell or something her he’s dead ask her what he was like with her.
Jeff
She’s not in this for depressing conversations about dead guys. She’s in it for the sex. That’s all she wants. It’s what no strings means. That’s what she’ll be expecting. Am I meant to say let’s not do it, let’s talk about my dead friend instead.
Janet
Well screw her first then.
Jeff
What!?
Janet
What’s the problem? She’s beautiful isn’t she? Why wouldn’t you want to screw her?
Jeff
I’m with you, that’s why!
Janet
You’re seeing me behind your wife’s back. What’s the difference?
Jeff
I can’t believe you! Since when does any normal woman ask her boyfriend to sleep with another woman?
Janet
“Boyfriend”? Is that what you think you are?... sorry… look I know it’s weird, but I was with this man for ten years. Married for six of those. We had a child together, but it looks like I didn’t know him. I didn’t know him at all. And he never knew the real me either. I need to know who he was. If the real him would have understood the real me.
Jeff
What do you mean the real you?
Janet
Maybe I’ll tell you one day. Are you going to do this thing for me or not?
Jeff
It’s too weird. Too mechanical. Where’s the emotion?
Janet
I’ve been asking that all my life.
Jeff
What?
Janet
Stupid idea I know. Sorry. Come on, let’s fool around!
Jeff
Finally you’ve started talking sense.
Janet
(Taking her t-shirt off) do you want something to drink?
Jeff
Sure why not?
Janet and Jeff fool around on the sofa, they drink, make love, drink some more. Jeff is getting drunk, but Janet doesn’t seem to. During their horseplay Janet takes Jeff’s photo. Jeff falls asleep but Janet stays awake.
11
INT. Morning Anna and Jeff’s living room.
Jeff is lying on the sofa with his coat over him.
Anna
What time did you get in last night? And why are you sleeping down here?
Jeff
I didn’t want to wake you. I got in at one I think.
Anna
I went to bed at half one.
Jeff
Jesus, I don’t know the exact time. I was pissed, it was Mike’s fault. He drinks like a fish.
Anna
I thought you were going out with Carl.
Jeff
For gods sake! Who are you, Colombo? Mike was there too, okay? It was a lads night out
Anna
Do you want some breakfast or something?
Jeff
Yes thanks you’re an angel.
Look I’m sorry for being so weird. I’ve just got a lot to work through that’s all. What did you do last night?
Anna
Same thing I did when you were at the conference
Jeff
Soaps, chick flicks and wine?
Anna
yeah
Jesus, I don’t know the exact time. I was pissed, it was Mike’s fault. He drinks like a fish.
Anna
I thought you were going out with Carl.
Jeff
For gods sake! Who are you, Colombo? Mike was there too, okay? It was a lads night out
Anna
Do you want some breakfast or something?
Jeff
Yes thanks you’re an angel.
Look I’m sorry for being so weird. I’ve just got a lot to work through that’s all. What did you do last night?
Anna
Same thing I did when you were at the conference
Jeff
Soaps, chick flicks and wine?
Anna
yeah
12
INT. A small gift shop – day
Saska stands behind the till. She’s staring into space. The camera slowly closes in on her face. She looks very bored.
The place deals mainly in greetings cards. A man comes to the till with a small greetings card in his hand. The card says “Happy birthday, my beautiful wife”
Man
How much is this there’s no price on it
Saskia
There should be a code on the back of it.
Yeah here it is JJ… that will be two ninety five
Man
Oh. It’s not very big for three quid
Saskia
It’s got glitter on it
Man
Yeah but still, you can get a magazine for like 50p
Saskia
That one is 60p
How much is this there’s no price on it
Saskia
There should be a code on the back of it.
Yeah here it is JJ… that will be two ninety five
Man
Oh. It’s not very big for three quid
Saskia
It’s got glitter on it
Man
Yeah but still, you can get a magazine for like 50p
The man goes back to the card display, picks another card, and hands it to Saskia. The card reads “happy birthday to a very special someone”
Saskia
That one is 60p
13
INT. A dimly lit bar.
The place is not trendy, or busy. Jeff is waiting at the bar sipping a beer. Wearing a black plastic raincoat Janet comes in and walks up to him.
Janet
Hey there big guy, been waiting long?
Jeff
No, no, you want a drink?
Janet
What do you think?
Jeff
It feels weird being in a bar with you, dangerous.
Janet
Is that why you’re wearing that stupid coat? You look like you’re in disguise or something. We’re out in the middle of nowhere here don’t worry about it. Anyway, isn’t it exciting?
Jeff
A little I guess. How have you been? I feel like I haven’t seen you for ages.
Janet
It’s only been a week. We needed to cool it anyway. YOU needed to cool it. We don’t want your wife getting suspicious do we?
Jeff
No I guess not. (To barmaid) er vodka and orange please.
Janet
Double, make that a double.
Jeff
So how are you?
Janet
Fine.
Jeff
No really. How are you?
Janet
Fine, I’m fine, how are things with your wife?
Jeff
Well I’m here aren’t I?
Hey there big guy, been waiting long?
Jeff
No, no, you want a drink?
Janet
What do you think?
Jeff
It feels weird being in a bar with you, dangerous.
Janet
Is that why you’re wearing that stupid coat? You look like you’re in disguise or something. We’re out in the middle of nowhere here don’t worry about it. Anyway, isn’t it exciting?
Jeff
A little I guess. How have you been? I feel like I haven’t seen you for ages.
Janet
It’s only been a week. We needed to cool it anyway. YOU needed to cool it. We don’t want your wife getting suspicious do we?
Jeff
No I guess not. (To barmaid) er vodka and orange please.
Janet
Double, make that a double.
Jeff
So how are you?
Janet
Fine.
Jeff
No really. How are you?
Janet
Fine, I’m fine, how are things with your wife?
Jeff
Well I’m here aren’t I?
Someone walks in through the door. Jeff looks to check who it is.
Janet
Relax will you. Who does Anna know who would come here? They even have strippers here on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Jeff
Yeah, I know I clocked the sign when I came in. how did you know about this place?
Janet
She suggested it.
Relax will you. Who does Anna know who would come here? They even have strippers here on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Jeff
Yeah, I know I clocked the sign when I came in. how did you know about this place?
Janet
She suggested it.
Saska is standing in the doorway.
Jeff
Jesus! What have you done?
Janet
I sent her your photo. She suggested meeting here first. You’re a friend of Johns he vouched for you.
Jeff
How? He’s dead!
Janet
I pretended to be him. I used his phone thing. Then I pretended to be you on my laptop. It was easy.
Jeff
You’re fucking crazy!
Janet
I can’t do it myself can I? I looked back through the mails, she doesn’t like girls.
Jeff
What am I supposed to do?
Janet
Just be cool. She’s coming over.
Saskia
Hi, Jeff right? Glad to see your photo didn’t lie. Who’s your friend? I thought you’d be alone.
Janet
Oh don’t worry about me. I was just leaving. Have fun you too.
Saskia
Who’s she to you?
Jeff
I haven’t a fucking clue anymore.
Saskia
Only, the way you were arguing before I came over, you seemed married.
Jeff
…
Saskia
You’re chatty
Jeff
Sorry do you want a drink?
Saskia
Double vodka and orange
Jesus! What have you done?
Janet
I sent her your photo. She suggested meeting here first. You’re a friend of Johns he vouched for you.
Jeff
How? He’s dead!
Janet
I pretended to be him. I used his phone thing. Then I pretended to be you on my laptop. It was easy.
Jeff
You’re fucking crazy!
Janet
I can’t do it myself can I? I looked back through the mails, she doesn’t like girls.
Jeff
What am I supposed to do?
Janet
Just be cool. She’s coming over.
Saskia
Hi, Jeff right? Glad to see your photo didn’t lie. Who’s your friend? I thought you’d be alone.
Janet
Oh don’t worry about me. I was just leaving. Have fun you too.
Saskia
Who’s she to you?
Jeff
I haven’t a fucking clue anymore.
Saskia
Only, the way you were arguing before I came over, you seemed married.
Jeff
…
Saskia
You’re chatty
Jeff
Sorry do you want a drink?
Saskia
Double vodka and orange
Over in a dark corner of the pub a man sits with a baseball cap pulled down low to obscure his face. His coat is draped over the table in front of him next to his pint of beer upon closer inspection we can see that there is a video camera under the coat filming Jeff, Anna, and Saskia.
14
Int. A squalid little room, perhaps in a disused factory.
The room contains a desk a plastic chair, a filing cabinet and a mattress. Oliver sits on the mattress rolling a joint. The door opens and two men walk in.
Oliver
Whoa, shit Chris you scared me there. I was er, I was just gonna come see you actually
Thug
What are you doing here then? Why aren’t you sitting in your usual shit hole?
Oliver
(Craning his neck to see round the thug) Chris, mate, what’s this guy here for? Once I got it all together I was going to bring it round I was you don’t need this guy
Thug
You lost the right to call him Chris when you started fucking him around. Do you know how we found you? Do you know who gave you up?
Oliver
Who?
Thug
The first person we talked to
Oliver
Er, right. I er don’t know what to do with that
Thug
Everyone knows you’re a dead man Olly everyone knows that except maybe you.
Try to imagine yourself lying in a box way down in a hole. Your dear old mum crying her eyes out six feet above you. You’re there now mate, sorry to say.
I can get you out of there though all you need to do is give Mr dryer his money
Whoa, shit Chris you scared me there. I was er, I was just gonna come see you actually
Thug
What are you doing here then? Why aren’t you sitting in your usual shit hole?
Oliver
(Craning his neck to see round the thug) Chris, mate, what’s this guy here for? Once I got it all together I was going to bring it round I was you don’t need this guy
Thug
You lost the right to call him Chris when you started fucking him around. Do you know how we found you? Do you know who gave you up?
Oliver
Who?
Thug
The first person we talked to
Oliver
Er, right. I er don’t know what to do with that
Thug
Everyone knows you’re a dead man Olly everyone knows that except maybe you.
Try to imagine yourself lying in a box way down in a hole. Your dear old mum crying her eyes out six feet above you. You’re there now mate, sorry to say.
I can get you out of there though all you need to do is give Mr dryer his money
15
Int. Back in the pub.
The same night. Jeff and Saska are now sitting at a table possibly a booth. Saska has her vodka. Jeff is visibly nervous.
Jeff
So why do you do this? Isn’t it dangerous?
Saskia
You’re doing it too.
Jeff
Yeah, looks like it doesn’t it.
Saska
There’s a photo of you on my computer. You don’t know where else it could be either. You know that if anything happens to me they’ll find your picture. So it’s as safe it could be I guess. Having said that if it was properly safe I probably wouldn’t be doing it.
Jeff
Is that it then? The danger, is that why you do this?
Saskia
It’s a nice little extra, but mainly it’s sex. It’s nice to have a lot of sex. I find almost every other pass time very boring.
Jeff
What about diseases?
Saskia
Jesus Christ Jeff who the fuck are you?
Jeff
What? What do you mean?
Saskia
You get your mate to set you up with some no strings net slut. Then you’re all like “it’s not safe, what about this? What about that?
Jeff
Mate?
Saskia
John, who else?
Jeff
John’s dead
Saskia
He’s what?!
Jeff
Car crash. They think he fell asleep at the wheel. There weren’t any skid marks on the road.
Saskia
He only mailed me on, what, like Thursday or something. Is that why you’re being so weird? Why you don’t seem that into it. Most guys are trying to get me into the toilets by now
Jeff
Er, yeah. I guess so, we weren’t that close, but, you know. Anyway I thought I should tell you in person.
Saskia
What do you think John would have wanted you to do? Sit in silence or take me home and fuck my brains out?
So why do you do this? Isn’t it dangerous?
Saskia
You’re doing it too.
Jeff
Yeah, looks like it doesn’t it.
Saska
There’s a photo of you on my computer. You don’t know where else it could be either. You know that if anything happens to me they’ll find your picture. So it’s as safe it could be I guess. Having said that if it was properly safe I probably wouldn’t be doing it.
Jeff
Is that it then? The danger, is that why you do this?
Saskia
It’s a nice little extra, but mainly it’s sex. It’s nice to have a lot of sex. I find almost every other pass time very boring.
Jeff
What about diseases?
Saskia
Jesus Christ Jeff who the fuck are you?
Jeff
What? What do you mean?
Saskia
You get your mate to set you up with some no strings net slut. Then you’re all like “it’s not safe, what about this? What about that?
Jeff
Mate?
Saskia
John, who else?
Jeff
John’s dead
Saskia
He’s what?!
Jeff
Car crash. They think he fell asleep at the wheel. There weren’t any skid marks on the road.
Saskia
He only mailed me on, what, like Thursday or something. Is that why you’re being so weird? Why you don’t seem that into it. Most guys are trying to get me into the toilets by now
Jeff
Er, yeah. I guess so, we weren’t that close, but, you know. Anyway I thought I should tell you in person.
Saskia
What do you think John would have wanted you to do? Sit in silence or take me home and fuck my brains out?
Jeff smiles.
16
INT. Saskia’s living room.
Jeff and Saska have sex. Later they lie on the sofa and talk.
Jeff
So what was John like?
Saskia
He was your friend wasn’t he?
Jeff
Yeah but I don’t think I ever really knew him.
Saskia
Right well. I guess John was a bit more like my type.
Jeff
How’d you mean?
Saskia
You’re too nice. John wasn’t that nice at all. A proper bastard I suppose. He wasn’t cruel or nasty, or anything but he was like this cocky arrogant son of a bitch.
Jeff
And that’s attractive is it?
Saskia
Hell yes. If you ever read my blog you’d know I like bastards. They’re good for sex, just don’t live with them. John had this way of talking to you. He’d tell you to do something and not doing it wouldn’t really enter your head. Sorry Jeff but you’re too concerned with what I want and even when you don’t say please there’s like this silent please hanging there.
Jeff
Blog?
Saskia
Yeah “10 000 fires” it’s like an on line diary of my sexploits. Don’t worry It’s all anonymous. I just use an initial for the guy. I don’t know what I’m gonna do with you though. You have the same initial as John.
Jeff
Just call me “too nice guy”
So what was John like?
Saskia
He was your friend wasn’t he?
Jeff
Yeah but I don’t think I ever really knew him.
Saskia
Right well. I guess John was a bit more like my type.
Jeff
How’d you mean?
Saskia
You’re too nice. John wasn’t that nice at all. A proper bastard I suppose. He wasn’t cruel or nasty, or anything but he was like this cocky arrogant son of a bitch.
Jeff
And that’s attractive is it?
Saskia
Hell yes. If you ever read my blog you’d know I like bastards. They’re good for sex, just don’t live with them. John had this way of talking to you. He’d tell you to do something and not doing it wouldn’t really enter your head. Sorry Jeff but you’re too concerned with what I want and even when you don’t say please there’s like this silent please hanging there.
Jeff
Blog?
Saskia
Yeah “10 000 fires” it’s like an on line diary of my sexploits. Don’t worry It’s all anonymous. I just use an initial for the guy. I don’t know what I’m gonna do with you though. You have the same initial as John.
Jeff
Just call me “too nice guy”
INT. Jeff’s office – Morning/INT. Janet’s home - morning
Jeff is in an open plan office. He tries hard to not be heard making a personal call.
Janet is in the kitchen pouring a glass of wine
Janet (into phone)
Well?
Jeff (into phone)
She said he was a bastard.
Janet (into phone)
Why, what did he do?
Jeff (into phone)
Nothing much, I don’t think. It was just his attitude, he never gave a shit about her feelings. Just did what he liked. She called him arrogant.
Janet (into phone)
And she liked that about him did she?
Jeff (into phone)
Er, I suppose so. Was that what he was like with you?
Janet (into phone)
No, nothing like that at all, he wasn’t a walkover or anything he stood his ground but, you know, he was considerate. Loving.
Jeff (into phone)
Right, well, anyway, I can’t do it again. It turns out I’m not her type. You don’t get asked back if you’re not right. I left my coat there, but I’m gonna write that off
Janet (into phone)
We’ll talk later.
Well?
Jeff (into phone)
She said he was a bastard.
Janet (into phone)
Why, what did he do?
Jeff (into phone)
Nothing much, I don’t think. It was just his attitude, he never gave a shit about her feelings. Just did what he liked. She called him arrogant.
Janet (into phone)
And she liked that about him did she?
Jeff (into phone)
Er, I suppose so. Was that what he was like with you?
Janet (into phone)
No, nothing like that at all, he wasn’t a walkover or anything he stood his ground but, you know, he was considerate. Loving.
Jeff (into phone)
Right, well, anyway, I can’t do it again. It turns out I’m not her type. You don’t get asked back if you’re not right. I left my coat there, but I’m gonna write that off
Janet (into phone)
We’ll talk later.
Jeff hangs up and remembers the previous night.
17
INT. Saskia’s flat
Jeff and Saska lie on the bed after having had sex.
Jeff
You never really told me why you do
this.
Saskia
Yes I did. It’s boredom. My job is like really, really boring and pretty much every thing people do or say is, well, boring too. Everything that everyone’s in to is dead small and domestic, and doesn’t matter… I’m bored to tears.
Jeff
Maybe you should try jumping out of planes or something
Saskia
Nope, fuckin’ strangers does just great for me. You should go now. I enjoyed myself I really did, but this was just a one-night thing. Okay.
Jeff
Erm, okay
You never really told me why you do
this.
Saskia
Yes I did. It’s boredom. My job is like really, really boring and pretty much every thing people do or say is, well, boring too. Everything that everyone’s in to is dead small and domestic, and doesn’t matter… I’m bored to tears.
Jeff
Maybe you should try jumping out of planes or something
Saskia
Nope, fuckin’ strangers does just great for me. You should go now. I enjoyed myself I really did, but this was just a one-night thing. Okay.
Jeff
Erm, okay
INT. Saskia’s shop - day
A close up on Saska. She doesn’t look bored. She looks afraid. The camera pulls back to reveal that a gun is being pointed at her. The camera continues to pull back until the man holding the gun can be seen.
Oliver
Come on! Fill the bag!
Oliver
Too slow bitch, come on!
Manager
Are you okay Katie?
Come on! Fill the bag!
Saska is scared, but attracted, and excited.
Oliver
Too slow bitch, come on!
She fills the bag, and Oliver runs out with it.
Manager
Are you okay Katie?
Saska is trying not to smile.
INT. Janet’s living room/Jeff’s hallway – Evening
Janet answers the phone
Janet (into phone)
Hello?
Jeff (into phone)
Hey there, you okay?
Janet (into phone)
Fine, I’m fine. Where are you calling from?
Jeff (into phone)
Home, but it’s okay, she’s in the bath.
Janet (into phone)
You need to cool it Jeff
Jeff (into phone)
I just need to know that nothing’s changed between us after, you know, what I did for you with that girl. I did it for you, you know.
Janet (into phone)
What is it you think we have exactly?
Jeff (into phone)
Well, you know, er, a thing. We still have a thing don’t we?
Janet (into phone)
A thing? Look Jeff I’m sorry. We have nothing. We never did. You are married, remember that. I was just using you to get over John and Mandy… sorry.
Jeff (into phone)
I don’t believe this. You’re dumping me after what I did for you? You bitch!
Janet (into phone)
Yes. That’s right. A cold hearted bitch. You should be with someone nice. Like er, oh I don’t know… your wife.
Jeff (into phone)
I don’t want her. I want you.
Janet (into phone)
Everything you want from me I can’t give you. I’m incapable. Everything you want from me your wife is desperate to give you.
Jeff (into phone)
Look maybe things have gone a bit too quickly and we should cool it a bit. Maybe we should leave it for a week
Janet (into phone)
I’ve wasted the last ten years of my life. I’ll not waste a moment more pretending to be something I’m not.
Hello?
Jeff (into phone)
Hey there, you okay?
Janet (into phone)
Fine, I’m fine. Where are you calling from?
Jeff (into phone)
Home, but it’s okay, she’s in the bath.
Janet (into phone)
You need to cool it Jeff
Jeff (into phone)
I just need to know that nothing’s changed between us after, you know, what I did for you with that girl. I did it for you, you know.
Janet (into phone)
What is it you think we have exactly?
Jeff (into phone)
Well, you know, er, a thing. We still have a thing don’t we?
Janet (into phone)
A thing? Look Jeff I’m sorry. We have nothing. We never did. You are married, remember that. I was just using you to get over John and Mandy… sorry.
Jeff (into phone)
I don’t believe this. You’re dumping me after what I did for you? You bitch!
Janet (into phone)
Yes. That’s right. A cold hearted bitch. You should be with someone nice. Like er, oh I don’t know… your wife.
Jeff (into phone)
I don’t want her. I want you.
Janet (into phone)
Everything you want from me I can’t give you. I’m incapable. Everything you want from me your wife is desperate to give you.
Jeff (into phone)
Look maybe things have gone a bit too quickly and we should cool it a bit. Maybe we should leave it for a week
Janet (into phone)
I’ve wasted the last ten years of my life. I’ll not waste a moment more pretending to be something I’m not.
Janet hangs up, leaving Jeff holding the phone. Whilst he is holding the phone Anna enters the room drying her hair with a towel.
Anna
Who was that on the phone?
Who was that on the phone?
She takes the towel off her head to look at Jeff but he’s gone.
18
Int. Back in Janet’s house
Janet stares into space remembering something…
The six year old Janet (limping slightly due to her grazed knee) comes into the a back garden from the side of the large semi-detached house. She sees her mother doing some gardening at the far end of the garden. Janet is not at all upset. Then suddenly as if a switch were flicked on she starts to cry loudly.
Janet
Mummy, mummy! I hurt my knee!
Mum
Oh Janet poppet, let me see, oh dear does it hurt? How did you do it?
Janet
I fell, make it better
Janet snaps out of her daydream
19Mummy, mummy! I hurt my knee!
Mum
Oh Janet poppet, let me see, oh dear does it hurt? How did you do it?
Janet
I fell, make it better
Janet snaps out of her daydream
EXT. Outside Saskia’s flat – evening
Jeff is leaning into the intercom. Trying to hear Saskia’s voice.
Saskia (through intercom)
I thought I told you a return visit was by appointment only.
Jeff
I know, I know, but I’m not here for any sex or anything. I need your help. I, er. I need some tips on. Erm. Can I not come in?
Saskia (through intercom)
Help you how?
Jeff
It’s embarrassing. Can I not tell you inside?
Saskia
Tell me not or you’re not coming in
Jeff
I can’t believe I’m gonna say this… I’m in love with a real bitch but she doesn’t love me. Can you show me how to be a bastard?
I thought I told you a return visit was by appointment only.
Jeff
I know, I know, but I’m not here for any sex or anything. I need your help. I, er. I need some tips on. Erm. Can I not come in?
Saskia (through intercom)
Help you how?
Jeff
It’s embarrassing. Can I not tell you inside?
Saskia
Tell me not or you’re not coming in
Jeff
I can’t believe I’m gonna say this… I’m in love with a real bitch but she doesn’t love me. Can you show me how to be a bastard?
INT. Saskia’s living room – evening
Saskia
I’m only doing this because I think it will make good material for my blog. It’s been getting a bit samey recently, and I hope to turn it into a book some day
Jeff
Erm, right well I’m happy I could help. I read your blog at work. Thanks for being so, er…
Saskia
Kind?
Jeff
Er, yeah, whatever, do you think you can help me?
Saskia
What do you want a bitch for? I mean a bitch is a bitch. Right?
Jeff
I don’t want nice. It’s boring. You understand boring don’t you?
Saskia
I understand that just fine, but you can’t fake being a bastard. It’s in you or it’s not. And if it’s not in you then I can’t bring it out.
Jeff
It is in me though, I’m married…
Saskia
To the woman in the bar?
Jeff
No she’s the bitch. I’m a bastard to my wife. I treat her like shit. I really do. But when I’m with the Janet I’m like this whole other person I don’t even recognize. I melt. I know it sounds corny but it’s true. How can I stand up to her? I love her and want to do anything she wants, save for this one last thing.
Saskia
What’s that?
Jeff
Leave her alone.
Saskia
So you show love by doing what ever she wants
Jeff
How else do you show it?
Saskia
It’s pointless trying to give a woman what she wants because the list is endless give her what she needs instead..
Jeff
What does she need?
Saskia
How the hell do I know?
Okay then lets start…
She doesn’t deserve your love. Show her you don’t need her. A strong man doesn’t need a woman. Women need men. Women want what they can’t have.
Jeff
This is all so sexist and unbelievably unPC
Saskia
I’m like some net slut or something. You want politically correct, go somewhere else.
Jeff
Don’t women want nice kind men, who show emotions? You know, new men?
Saskia
I don’t know some need something else. The idea of a man who moisturises leaves me cold. Come on, stand up.
Saskia
Right. Now tell me to sit down.
Jeff
Er, sit down.
Saskia
Er? Er, sit down? Never say er. It makes it sound like not sitting down is an option.
Jeff
Sit down
Saskia
Shit Jeff. You’re only gonna have one crack at this. If you don’t go in there and fuck her straight off then you’ve blown it. You need to go round and fuck her. She needs to want you. After you’ve gone she can wish she’d never let you, but at the time it need to feel like the thing to do. That starts with a girl doing what she’s told now tell me to sit down like not doing it isn’t an option.
Jeff
(Shouting) SIT DOWN!
Saskia
Ha, ha, ha, who the fuck are you? Don’t shout. Shouting makes you sound angry, anger is an emotion. Don’t show too much emotion. We’re only going for slightly pissed off okay? Yeah actually, try to act a little bit pissed off. But never anything more. Unless we’re having sex, and that’s not going to happen.
Jeff
Er, right. Okay.
Saskia
Now tell me to sit like I’m a dog.
Jeff
Ha, ha, I can’t believe you! This is so out of order.
Saskia
Come on a female dog is a bitch. Tell me to sit like it’s a thing that’s just gonna happen.
Jeff
Okay, er…
Saskia
NO “er”. Come on you’re the one with the power use it.
Jeff
Sit down, we need to talk.
I’m only doing this because I think it will make good material for my blog. It’s been getting a bit samey recently, and I hope to turn it into a book some day
Jeff
Erm, right well I’m happy I could help. I read your blog at work. Thanks for being so, er…
Saskia
Kind?
Jeff
Er, yeah, whatever, do you think you can help me?
Saskia
What do you want a bitch for? I mean a bitch is a bitch. Right?
Jeff
I don’t want nice. It’s boring. You understand boring don’t you?
Saskia
I understand that just fine, but you can’t fake being a bastard. It’s in you or it’s not. And if it’s not in you then I can’t bring it out.
Jeff
It is in me though, I’m married…
Saskia
To the woman in the bar?
Jeff
No she’s the bitch. I’m a bastard to my wife. I treat her like shit. I really do. But when I’m with the Janet I’m like this whole other person I don’t even recognize. I melt. I know it sounds corny but it’s true. How can I stand up to her? I love her and want to do anything she wants, save for this one last thing.
Saskia
What’s that?
Jeff
Leave her alone.
Saskia
So you show love by doing what ever she wants
Jeff
How else do you show it?
Saskia
It’s pointless trying to give a woman what she wants because the list is endless give her what she needs instead..
Jeff
What does she need?
Saskia
How the hell do I know?
Okay then lets start…
She doesn’t deserve your love. Show her you don’t need her. A strong man doesn’t need a woman. Women need men. Women want what they can’t have.
Jeff
This is all so sexist and unbelievably unPC
Saskia
I’m like some net slut or something. You want politically correct, go somewhere else.
Jeff
Don’t women want nice kind men, who show emotions? You know, new men?
Saskia
I don’t know some need something else. The idea of a man who moisturises leaves me cold. Come on, stand up.
Jeff stands up and they face each other.
Saskia
Right. Now tell me to sit down.
Jeff
Er, sit down.
Saskia
Er? Er, sit down? Never say er. It makes it sound like not sitting down is an option.
Jeff
Sit down
Saskia
Shit Jeff. You’re only gonna have one crack at this. If you don’t go in there and fuck her straight off then you’ve blown it. You need to go round and fuck her. She needs to want you. After you’ve gone she can wish she’d never let you, but at the time it need to feel like the thing to do. That starts with a girl doing what she’s told now tell me to sit down like not doing it isn’t an option.
Jeff
(Shouting) SIT DOWN!
Saskia
Ha, ha, ha, who the fuck are you? Don’t shout. Shouting makes you sound angry, anger is an emotion. Don’t show too much emotion. We’re only going for slightly pissed off okay? Yeah actually, try to act a little bit pissed off. But never anything more. Unless we’re having sex, and that’s not going to happen.
Jeff
Er, right. Okay.
Saskia
Now tell me to sit like I’m a dog.
Jeff
Ha, ha, I can’t believe you! This is so out of order.
Saskia
Come on a female dog is a bitch. Tell me to sit like it’s a thing that’s just gonna happen.
Jeff
Okay, er…
Saskia
NO “er”. Come on you’re the one with the power use it.
Jeff
Sit down, we need to talk.
Saskia sits down.
Saskia
Much better, hey look at me I’m sitting down!.. Okay, so you come in, the first thing she does is something you told her to do. Like a good girl. You need to keep on down that same road.
Much better, hey look at me I’m sitting down!.. Okay, so you come in, the first thing she does is something you told her to do. Like a good girl. You need to keep on down that same road.
Jeff sits down next to her.
Saskia (cont’d)
Whoa! What are you doing don’t come down to my level. She needs to be looking up at you. You need to be looking down on her. It’s all psychology.
Whoa! What are you doing don’t come down to my level. She needs to be looking up at you. You need to be looking down on her. It’s all psychology.
Jeff stands up again.
Saskia
Right, so what do you say now?
Jeff
Er… I haven’t a clue.
Saskia
Ha, ha, you’re useless! Just like how you told me to sit, tell me what I think and feel, and why.
Jeff
How do I know what Janet is thinking?
Saskia
You don’t but she’s a woman so neither does she.
Jeff
Are you from the seventies or something?
Saskia
You need to take control. Tell her what she thinks and feels and make up good reasons why. If you take charge enough she’ll believe you.
Jeff
I can’t think of what to say
Saskia
We’ll just spin on for now and go straight to the kiss. You’ve said what you’ve said. Try to make it a bit confusing so she needs time to think about what you’ve said. But don’t give her that time. Then you kiss her…
Right, so what do you say now?
Jeff
Er… I haven’t a clue.
Saskia
Ha, ha, you’re useless! Just like how you told me to sit, tell me what I think and feel, and why.
Jeff
How do I know what Janet is thinking?
Saskia
You don’t but she’s a woman so neither does she.
Jeff
Are you from the seventies or something?
Saskia
You need to take control. Tell her what she thinks and feels and make up good reasons why. If you take charge enough she’ll believe you.
Jeff
I can’t think of what to say
Saskia
We’ll just spin on for now and go straight to the kiss. You’ve said what you’ve said. Try to make it a bit confusing so she needs time to think about what you’ve said. But don’t give her that time. Then you kiss her…
20
EXT. Outside Janet’s house – night
It’s raining heavily. Jeff is at the door. Janet answers it.
Janet
I thought I told you we were over.
Jeff
Let me in, this is important. I’m getting soaked here. I left my coat at Saskia’s again
Janet
What do you mean again?
Jeff
Nothing just let me in Janet!
I thought I told you we were over.
Jeff
Let me in, this is important. I’m getting soaked here. I left my coat at Saskia’s again
Janet
What do you mean again?
Jeff
Nothing just let me in Janet!
INT. Janet’s living room.
Jeff
Sit down, we need to talk.
Sit down, we need to talk.
Janet remains standing.
Janet
What do you want?
Jeff
Sit down. It’s important.
Janet
No. What do you want?
Jeff
For fucks sake, can’t you just sit down?
Janet
What’s you’re problem Jeff?
Jeff
Jesus! I’m not the one with the problem. The reason why you’re such a bitch is because for the last ten years you’ve…
Janet
You haven’t got a fuckin’ clue why I am the way I am. What is it? You think I’ve got low self-esteem? I push you away because I don’t deserve you? Is that it? Or am I just angry with John and Mandy for dieing? Or I need to be faithful to his memory. Or it could be survivor guilt? Maybe I think I should have died instead of them. You’ve got no idea!
What do you want?
Jeff
Sit down. It’s important.
Janet
No. What do you want?
Jeff
For fucks sake, can’t you just sit down?
Janet
What’s you’re problem Jeff?
Jeff
Jesus! I’m not the one with the problem. The reason why you’re such a bitch is because for the last ten years you’ve…
Janet
You haven’t got a fuckin’ clue why I am the way I am. What is it? You think I’ve got low self-esteem? I push you away because I don’t deserve you? Is that it? Or am I just angry with John and Mandy for dieing? Or I need to be faithful to his memory. Or it could be survivor guilt? Maybe I think I should have died instead of them. You’ve got no idea!
21
EXT. Outside Saskia’s flat – night
Oliver (the man who robbed her at gun point earlier) is talking to Saskia through the intercom. It’s raining heavily and Oliver is getting soaked, as he has no coat
Saskia (through intercom)
I thought we were clear on this Oliver. You don’t come round unannounced. I could have anyone here.
Oliver
Just let me in Saskia. I’m getting pissed on here!
I thought we were clear on this Oliver. You don’t come round unannounced. I could have anyone here.
Oliver
Just let me in Saskia. I’m getting pissed on here!
INT. Saskia’s flat - night
Saskia
You’re lucky I got nothing doing.
Oliver
I need to borrow some money Sassy baby
Saskia
What! No way man! Who the hell do you think I am?
Oliver
Come on girl, I thought we was friends, friends lend friends money.
Saskia
Not this friend. I’m your fuck friend. Your money friend, I don’t know that girl.
Oliver
I’m not joking here, I need three grand real bad.
Saskia
Jesus Christ! I thought you needed, like, twenty quid or something. No and no.
You’re lucky I got nothing doing.
Oliver
I need to borrow some money Sassy baby
Saskia
What! No way man! Who the hell do you think I am?
Oliver
Come on girl, I thought we was friends, friends lend friends money.
Saskia
Not this friend. I’m your fuck friend. Your money friend, I don’t know that girl.
Oliver
I’m not joking here, I need three grand real bad.
Saskia
Jesus Christ! I thought you needed, like, twenty quid or something. No and no.
INT. Janet’s house, the living room - night
Jeff
Well tell me then! Come on tell me!
Janet
I can’t love! Okay, I can’t love, I just can’t do it. It’s not in me. When I was a kid I felt no love for my parents, not for my brother, not for the cat or the fish. I never felt any love for ant of my friends or boyfriends or John when he came along. I knew it wasn’t normal so I just pretended to love people to fit in. one of my earliest memories is running to my mother when I hurt my knee and asking to have it kissed better, not because I wanted comfort from her but because that’s what other kids did.
Jeff
So you never felt anything for
John?
Janet
No but I screwed him anyway, because I enjoy sex, I can pretty much do that with anyone. The only thing different with John was that there never seemed to be a good enough reason to leave him. And he looked like he was going to be rich. So when he proposed I accepted. Eventually I fell pregnant, and I thought maybe this would change something in me. I don’t know turn a switch on or something. Maybe I would love my baby, but I didn’t. (pause) Little baby Mandy, as cute as a button, with the face of an angel, and I never felt a thing for her. I just acted like I did, and it was a good act. Then when they died the only thing I felt was relief. I was old enough to stop the bullshit and maybe be who I wanted to be.
Jeff
So what am I to you then?
Janet
I told you, I like sex. I thought that seeing as you were already married you would be happy with just getting extra sex. That you wouldn’t want anything more. I don’t want a relationship I just want to fuck and drink. Most men would think that it was Christmas, but not you. You come with all that hearts and flowers bullshit that I’ve been trying to get away from all my life. (Pause) So what’s you’re secret then?
Jeff
What?
Janet
You once told me you had a deep dark secret. That if I tell you mine you’ll tell me yours. So what is it?
Well tell me then! Come on tell me!
Janet
I can’t love! Okay, I can’t love, I just can’t do it. It’s not in me. When I was a kid I felt no love for my parents, not for my brother, not for the cat or the fish. I never felt any love for ant of my friends or boyfriends or John when he came along. I knew it wasn’t normal so I just pretended to love people to fit in. one of my earliest memories is running to my mother when I hurt my knee and asking to have it kissed better, not because I wanted comfort from her but because that’s what other kids did.
Jeff
So you never felt anything for
John?
Janet
No but I screwed him anyway, because I enjoy sex, I can pretty much do that with anyone. The only thing different with John was that there never seemed to be a good enough reason to leave him. And he looked like he was going to be rich. So when he proposed I accepted. Eventually I fell pregnant, and I thought maybe this would change something in me. I don’t know turn a switch on or something. Maybe I would love my baby, but I didn’t. (pause) Little baby Mandy, as cute as a button, with the face of an angel, and I never felt a thing for her. I just acted like I did, and it was a good act. Then when they died the only thing I felt was relief. I was old enough to stop the bullshit and maybe be who I wanted to be.
Jeff
So what am I to you then?
Janet
I told you, I like sex. I thought that seeing as you were already married you would be happy with just getting extra sex. That you wouldn’t want anything more. I don’t want a relationship I just want to fuck and drink. Most men would think that it was Christmas, but not you. You come with all that hearts and flowers bullshit that I’ve been trying to get away from all my life. (Pause) So what’s you’re secret then?
Jeff
What?
Janet
You once told me you had a deep dark secret. That if I tell you mine you’ll tell me yours. So what is it?
22
INT. Saskia’s flat - night
Saskia
What the hell do you need three grand for?
Oliver
I owe it Chris Dryer
Saskia
You told me you were clear! You said you got enough from the shop!
Oliver
I only paid off half. I bought some more gear with the other half.
Saskia
Right but that would mean that you only owed, what, a grand or something. How’s that end up being three?
Oliver
It’s not cheep stuff you know!
Saskia
Shit oily, I thought you said you were getting methadone or something.
Oliver
That shit’s crap the Diazepam’s good if you can’t get to sleep but methadone just feels like some low fat caffeine free crap
Saskia
It’s not meant to give you the exact same high you idiot it’s supposed to… oh you know what… forget it. It was exciting at first. Being with a criminal, but the more time I spend with you the more and more middle class you seem. I mean, how many junky thieves are called Oliver?
Oliver
You’re really pissing me off here, Saskia, if Chris doesn’t get his money I’m fucked!
Saskia
Well I haven’t got it. I’m not like a bank or something.
Oliver
Then we need to rob the shop again then.
Saskia
You’ll not get three grand off the shop! It’s not fuckin’ Harrods you know!
Oliver
I know that, but it will buy me some time, time to sort myself out, maybe sell some stuff.
Saskia
What stuff? You’ve got nothing
Oliver
I’m not joking here! He’s gonna fuckin’ kill me!
What the hell do you need three grand for?
Oliver
I owe it Chris Dryer
Saskia
You told me you were clear! You said you got enough from the shop!
Oliver
I only paid off half. I bought some more gear with the other half.
Saskia
Right but that would mean that you only owed, what, a grand or something. How’s that end up being three?
Oliver
It’s not cheep stuff you know!
Saskia
Shit oily, I thought you said you were getting methadone or something.
Oliver
That shit’s crap the Diazepam’s good if you can’t get to sleep but methadone just feels like some low fat caffeine free crap
Saskia
It’s not meant to give you the exact same high you idiot it’s supposed to… oh you know what… forget it. It was exciting at first. Being with a criminal, but the more time I spend with you the more and more middle class you seem. I mean, how many junky thieves are called Oliver?
Oliver
You’re really pissing me off here, Saskia, if Chris doesn’t get his money I’m fucked!
Saskia
Well I haven’t got it. I’m not like a bank or something.
Oliver
Then we need to rob the shop again then.
Saskia
You’ll not get three grand off the shop! It’s not fuckin’ Harrods you know!
Oliver
I know that, but it will buy me some time, time to sort myself out, maybe sell some stuff.
Saskia
What stuff? You’ve got nothing
Oliver
I’m not joking here! He’s gonna fuckin’ kill me!
INT. Janet’s house - night
Janet
Well? Come on then, what is it?
Jeff
… It was me…. It was my fault.
Janet
What was?
Jeff
The crash
Well? Come on then, what is it?
Jeff
… It was me…. It was my fault.
Janet
What was?
Jeff
The crash
23
INT. Saskia’s flat – night
Oliver is searching through Saskia’s kitchen drawers and cupboards
Saskia
I told you I’ve got nothing. No hidden money, nothing worth selling. Nothing.
Oliver
Don’t bullshit me Sas’ you’ve got to have something
I told you I’ve got nothing. No hidden money, nothing worth selling. Nothing.
Oliver
Don’t bullshit me Sas’ you’ve got to have something
Oliver pulls a knife out of the knife block on the kitchen surface and points it at Saskia
Oliver
Come on, where is it?
Saskia
Fuck off
Int. Janet’s house - nightCome on, where is it?
Saskia
Fuck off
Oliver slashes Saskia across the neck with the knife, blood pours out of the wound and she drops to the floor dead.
24
Jeff
I was going home from the pub… I’d had too much to drink but I thought I was fine, but, but I guess I wasn’t… I took a corner too wide and ended up on the wrong side… your side. I think John swerved to avoid me. I heard a crash, but it was dark and I didn’t see anything. I stayed on the road and kept on going… in the morning it seemed like a dream. I wasn’t sure if it had happened or not. So I drove up there to see… there was this hole in the barrier on that corner, but that was it. No police, no ambulance, nothing. I looked out over the edge and there was your car. Up a fucking tree for gods sake! Then as I was looking at it tipped out of the tree and fell in the river. I couldn’t believe it. It had waited there all night, until I turned up. That has to mean something doesn’t it? (Pause)
I was meant to save you.
I was going home from the pub… I’d had too much to drink but I thought I was fine, but, but I guess I wasn’t… I took a corner too wide and ended up on the wrong side… your side. I think John swerved to avoid me. I heard a crash, but it was dark and I didn’t see anything. I stayed on the road and kept on going… in the morning it seemed like a dream. I wasn’t sure if it had happened or not. So I drove up there to see… there was this hole in the barrier on that corner, but that was it. No police, no ambulance, nothing. I looked out over the edge and there was your car. Up a fucking tree for gods sake! Then as I was looking at it tipped out of the tree and fell in the river. I couldn’t believe it. It had waited there all night, until I turned up. That has to mean something doesn’t it? (Pause)
I was meant to save you.
25
INT. Saskia’s flat. The kitchen – night
Saskia is lying on the floor dead with her throat cut. Oliver is standing over her.
Oliver
Oh shit. Shit man, shit. Shit, shit, shit! You stupid bitch! Bitch! This is bad. Bad, bad, bad. Fuck.
Oh shit. Shit man, shit. Shit, shit, shit! You stupid bitch! Bitch! This is bad. Bad, bad, bad. Fuck.
Oliver runs out, not locking the door behind, him taking the knife with him. A few moments pass before Phil creeps in carrying his camera, filming everything as he goes. He stands over Saskia in the kitchen
Phil
Well this is an unexpected plot development Saskia. You were a pretty interesting character. I knew you would be when I read your mails on John’s phone, and I must say I’ll miss the blog too. I caught all the drama you’ll be glad to know. Lucky you live on the ground floor. (He turns off the camera)… can we talk? I don’t have anyone to really talk to, you know, about stuff. I think the best hobbies get you out of the house, but this hobby of mine can be pretty lonely at times, following people round with a camera. What do you think?... Don’t get me wrong, I feel a connection with the subject, but sometimes you need to talk… You never met my wife did you? I was very much in awe of her you know. Worshiped her I guess you could say… we used to talk a lot. Most couple run out of conversation eventually. Not us though… I used to just watch her too you know. When she wasn’t looking… so beautiful… But then she died… and I started watching my daughter instead. She does look like her mother. Well the less said about that the better. I watch others instead now. I find it stops me watching Shelly.
I see myself as a documentary filmmaker, but as a documentary filmmaker you present me with a problem. What do I do with you? We’re not supposed to interfere in the lives of the subject matter, but then again you now don’t have a life. Sending my tape to the cops would raise too many questions, and an anonymous phone call would just end this story here. The cops will come and…
Well this is an unexpected plot development Saskia. You were a pretty interesting character. I knew you would be when I read your mails on John’s phone, and I must say I’ll miss the blog too. I caught all the drama you’ll be glad to know. Lucky you live on the ground floor. (He turns off the camera)… can we talk? I don’t have anyone to really talk to, you know, about stuff. I think the best hobbies get you out of the house, but this hobby of mine can be pretty lonely at times, following people round with a camera. What do you think?... Don’t get me wrong, I feel a connection with the subject, but sometimes you need to talk… You never met my wife did you? I was very much in awe of her you know. Worshiped her I guess you could say… we used to talk a lot. Most couple run out of conversation eventually. Not us though… I used to just watch her too you know. When she wasn’t looking… so beautiful… But then she died… and I started watching my daughter instead. She does look like her mother. Well the less said about that the better. I watch others instead now. I find it stops me watching Shelly.
I see myself as a documentary filmmaker, but as a documentary filmmaker you present me with a problem. What do I do with you? We’re not supposed to interfere in the lives of the subject matter, but then again you now don’t have a life. Sending my tape to the cops would raise too many questions, and an anonymous phone call would just end this story here. The cops will come and…
The front door opens again and Phil quickly stands besides the fridge so he can’t be seen from the entrance to the kitchen. Oliver comes back into the flat, dripping wet from the rain. Phil switches on his camera again.
Oliver turns Saskia’s computer on by pressing the on button with a pencil he goes on the net and opens up Saskia’s blog page. Through Phil’s camera in the kitchen we see Oliver logging in and using passwords that are written on a post-it note stuck to the monitor. He types using the unsharpened ends of two pencils.
He is adding to Saskia’s blog.
Oliver then puts the computer on standby and leaves taking the pencils and the post-it note with him. On the way out he spots Jeff’s coat and takes it
Phil comes out of the kitchen and wakes up the computer with another pencil
Phil
It looks like Oliver has edited himself out of your blog Saskia. There’s also some new stuff here pertaining to be from you… er I’ll read you some. He’s added to that little schooling session you and Jeff had…
“I made the mistake of laughing at 2nice guy, and it turns out that he’s not nice at all. It’s all just repressed anger. He went for me saying something like “I’ll show you what a real man can do.” And tried to rape me. I pushed him off and he ran out the door. I don’t think he’ll be back. I’ll give a better account of what happened in a couple of days when I’m feeling calmer.”
Oh that’s pretty good as a frame up. The original post was yesterday and he just amended it there doesn’t look as if there’s a time index on amendments. He’s deleted the comments too. Very clever for a junkie. Looks like Jeff might go down for this. Unless I do something, but what? Got any ideas Saskia?
INT. Janet’s house – nightIt looks like Oliver has edited himself out of your blog Saskia. There’s also some new stuff here pertaining to be from you… er I’ll read you some. He’s added to that little schooling session you and Jeff had…
“I made the mistake of laughing at 2nice guy, and it turns out that he’s not nice at all. It’s all just repressed anger. He went for me saying something like “I’ll show you what a real man can do.” And tried to rape me. I pushed him off and he ran out the door. I don’t think he’ll be back. I’ll give a better account of what happened in a couple of days when I’m feeling calmer.”
Oh that’s pretty good as a frame up. The original post was yesterday and he just amended it there doesn’t look as if there’s a time index on amendments. He’s deleted the comments too. Very clever for a junkie. Looks like Jeff might go down for this. Unless I do something, but what? Got any ideas Saskia?
25
Janet
Save me! Save me! You were the one who put me there in the first place. You killed my family you bastard! Get out! Get out! Get out!
Jeff
I’m sorry it was my mistake, I’m sorry, but I love you
Janet
You’re sick, get out before I call the cops!
Jeff
Didn’t any of what we did mean anything?
Janet
Yes it means you’re a sick bastard that’s all
Save me! Save me! You were the one who put me there in the first place. You killed my family you bastard! Get out! Get out! Get out!
Jeff
I’m sorry it was my mistake, I’m sorry, but I love you
Janet
You’re sick, get out before I call the cops!
Jeff
Didn’t any of what we did mean anything?
Janet
Yes it means you’re a sick bastard that’s all
As Jeff leaves Janet throws a glass tumbler at him. It hits him on the head above the eye, doesn’t break but does leave a mark.
26
INT. Jeff and Anna’s house – night
Jeff comes in and goes to the kitchen. Anna leaves the living room and follows him in to the kitchen.
Anna
What is it Jeff, what’s wrong? You’ve been acting so weird since I said I wanted a baby. I was... what did you do to your head?
Jeff
Nothing just caught it on the car getting into it just now.
Anna
Right, er, I was angry when you just walked out before while I was having a bath but I realised that it’s all about fear isn’t it. I know it’s a big step, having kids but I really think you’ll be a great…
Jeff
I don’t want a baby because I don’t love you, you bitch!... I’m sorry but it’s over. I should have said earlier. I’ve been wasting your time, our time.
Anna
Is there another woman?
Jeff
No
What is it Jeff, what’s wrong? You’ve been acting so weird since I said I wanted a baby. I was... what did you do to your head?
Jeff
Nothing just caught it on the car getting into it just now.
Anna
Right, er, I was angry when you just walked out before while I was having a bath but I realised that it’s all about fear isn’t it. I know it’s a big step, having kids but I really think you’ll be a great…
Jeff
I don’t want a baby because I don’t love you, you bitch!... I’m sorry but it’s over. I should have said earlier. I’ve been wasting your time, our time.
Anna
Is there another woman?
Jeff
No
27
INT. Saskia’s flat – morning
Saskia is still lying on the kitchen floor a CID officer is standing over her. The flat is full of forensic detectives.
Cop 1
Not a robbery. Nothing missing. No signs of a struggle. So she knew him. Boyfriend maybe? The knife missing from the knife block tells me that was the weapon. Shame really nice looking bit of stuff… (To cop 2 at the computer). Leave that. Let the nerds deal with. Knowing you you’ll wipe the hard drive.
Cop 2
I know what I’m doing, I’m not you, you know. It was left on standby.
Cop 1
Bad for the environment sure, but not enough to get your throat slit surly.
Cop2
She had a blog.
Cop 1
What’s a blog?
Cop 2
You really are an old bastard aren’t you. Mostly, blogs are like on line diaries
Cop 1
Oh a diary, I like it when they make it easy for you. So what’s the name of the dreamboat that butchered her in the kitchen?
Cop 2
Hold on, er, everything’s in code all the guys are just initials. J, F, R,
Cop 1
Right so not entirely easy but it’s a start
Cop2
It might not be that easy. There’s loads of guys here.
Cop 1
How many?
Cop 2
it looks like she was trying to collect an alphabet here.
Jesus! You have to read some of this. She was up for anything. Where was she when I was looking for a wife?
Cop 1
Just read the last entry will you. What does it say?
Cop 2
Er, there’s this one guy here who doesn’t get a initial “too nice guy”
Cop 1
Yeah and?
Cop 2
Give me a chance will you there’s a lot to read here
Not a robbery. Nothing missing. No signs of a struggle. So she knew him. Boyfriend maybe? The knife missing from the knife block tells me that was the weapon. Shame really nice looking bit of stuff… (To cop 2 at the computer). Leave that. Let the nerds deal with. Knowing you you’ll wipe the hard drive.
Cop 2
I know what I’m doing, I’m not you, you know. It was left on standby.
Cop 1
Bad for the environment sure, but not enough to get your throat slit surly.
Cop2
She had a blog.
Cop 1
What’s a blog?
Cop 2
You really are an old bastard aren’t you. Mostly, blogs are like on line diaries
Cop 1
Oh a diary, I like it when they make it easy for you. So what’s the name of the dreamboat that butchered her in the kitchen?
Cop 2
Hold on, er, everything’s in code all the guys are just initials. J, F, R,
Cop 1
Right so not entirely easy but it’s a start
Cop2
It might not be that easy. There’s loads of guys here.
Cop 1
How many?
Cop 2
it looks like she was trying to collect an alphabet here.
Jesus! You have to read some of this. She was up for anything. Where was she when I was looking for a wife?
Cop 1
Just read the last entry will you. What does it say?
Cop 2
Er, there’s this one guy here who doesn’t get a initial “too nice guy”
Cop 1
Yeah and?
Cop 2
Give me a chance will you there’s a lot to read here
Cop 1
Was “too nice” to good to be true?
Cop2
Looks that way. She says here that he tried to rape her.
Cop1
Don’t get me wrong I like things to be simple, but this feels too easy.
Cop 2
Sometimes it is that simple, and that easy. Maybe there’s a mail from “too nice guy” in her mailbox.
Cop 1
Just leave it will you. Let the nerds do it. I don’t trust these things.
Was “too nice” to good to be true?
Cop2
Looks that way. She says here that he tried to rape her.
Cop1
Don’t get me wrong I like things to be simple, but this feels too easy.
Cop 2
Sometimes it is that simple, and that easy. Maybe there’s a mail from “too nice guy” in her mailbox.
Cop 1
Just leave it will you. Let the nerds do it. I don’t trust these things.
28
INT. Phil’s garage – day
Phil sits in his car reviewing his tapes. The first argument between Janet and Jeff. Following Jeff to the bar where he met up with Saskia. The sex with Saskia. Saskia’s murder. Phil sits back in his seat and thinks about what to do next.
29
EXT. Outside Janet’s house – day
Cop 1, and Cop 2 are at the door. Janet answers it.
Janet
Yes can I help you?
Cop 1
Yes, hopefully ma’am (They show their warrant cards). Is Jeff in?
Janet
Jeff? Er, no, we’re not, er, connected any more.
Yes can I help you?
Cop 1
Yes, hopefully ma’am (They show their warrant cards). Is Jeff in?
Janet
Jeff? Er, no, we’re not, er, connected any more.
Cop 1 and 2 look at each other
Cop 1
Can we come in miss?
Can we come in miss?
INT. Janet’s living room – day
Cop 1 and 2 sit on one sofa while Janet sits on the other.
Cop1
We’re looking in to an e-mail Jeff sent from this address
Janet
Right, er, I don’t know much about that. (Sigh) My husband recently died and I started an affair with Jeff almost immediately, I was lonely I think. It was wrong I know but I’ve never been alone before. He discovered that my husband had been having affairs for years behind my back. Lots of different girls but one in particular.
Cop 2
Do you know the other girls name?
Janet
Er. Yes. Saskia. She’s like this Internet slut who’ll screw any guy who sends her an e-mail. It seems Anna and I weren’t enough for Jeff and he sent this Saskia woman a mail
Cop 1
Who’s Anna?
Janet
Jeff’s wife
Cop1
We’re looking in to an e-mail Jeff sent from this address
Janet
Right, er, I don’t know much about that. (Sigh) My husband recently died and I started an affair with Jeff almost immediately, I was lonely I think. It was wrong I know but I’ve never been alone before. He discovered that my husband had been having affairs for years behind my back. Lots of different girls but one in particular.
Cop 2
Do you know the other girls name?
Janet
Er. Yes. Saskia. She’s like this Internet slut who’ll screw any guy who sends her an e-mail. It seems Anna and I weren’t enough for Jeff and he sent this Saskia woman a mail
Cop 1
Who’s Anna?
Janet
Jeff’s wife
30
INT. Cop 1 and 2’s car outside Janet’s house - day
Cop 1
This guy’s got some balls hasn’t he? Screwin’ his mistresses dead husbands mistress!
Cop 2
Ha, ha! I know and you said this was going to be simple!
This guy’s got some balls hasn’t he? Screwin’ his mistresses dead husbands mistress!
Cop 2
Ha, ha! I know and you said this was going to be simple!
INT. Jeff’s office – day
A young, nervous looking girl comes up to Jeff followed by Cop 1 and 2
Girl
Er, Jeff, the, er, police are here to see you
Jeff
…
Er, Jeff, the, er, police are here to see you
Jeff
…
INT. A private office, possibly used for meetings
Jeff
What’s this about?
Cop 1
It’s about Katie Jefferson
Jeff
Sorry, I’ve never heard that name.
Cop 1
Also known as Saskia.
Jeff
Ah, right, look, as far as I’m concerned I’ve done nothing illegal. No money changed hands I didn’t pay for anything.
Cop 2
Are you saying she was a prostitute?
Jeff
No, not at all I’m just saying that… was?
What’s this about?
Cop 1
It’s about Katie Jefferson
Jeff
Sorry, I’ve never heard that name.
Cop 1
Also known as Saskia.
Jeff
Ah, right, look, as far as I’m concerned I’ve done nothing illegal. No money changed hands I didn’t pay for anything.
Cop 2
Are you saying she was a prostitute?
Jeff
No, not at all I’m just saying that… was?
Cop 1 gives Cop 2 a disapproving look
31
INT. Oliver’s dirty messy squat – day
Oliver is lying on a mattress on the floor still wearing the coat. A packet of diazepam lies on the floor next to him. A man sits on the only chair in the room watching him sleep. He is wearing a pair of surgical rubber gloves. Oliver wakes up and sees the man and sits up with a start.
Oliver
Shit! (Nervous laugh) ha, ha, shit Chris you scared the shit out of me there…
Shit! (Nervous laugh) ha, ha, shit Chris you scared the shit out of me there…
Chris doesn’t speak
Oliver
You’re here for the money right? I er, I’m sorry man, I really am but I don’t have it all just yet. I’ve got a couple of things I’m working on and they, er; they just need a little more time.
You’re here for the money right? I er, I’m sorry man, I really am but I don’t have it all just yet. I’ve got a couple of things I’m working on and they, er; they just need a little more time.
Chris doesn’t speak
Oliver
All I need is one more week, you know just to bring things together
All I need is one more week, you know just to bring things together
Chris doesn’t speak
Oliver
I’m glad you came round actually, I was thinking to myself that maybe, you know, I could maybe work it off. The er, debt.
I’m glad you came round actually, I was thinking to myself that maybe, you know, I could maybe work it off. The er, debt.
Chris doesn’t speak
Oliver
Don’t just dismiss it out of hand there must be loads of things a guy like you needs doing
Don’t just dismiss it out of hand there must be loads of things a guy like you needs doing
Chris doesn’t speak
Oliver
(Nervous laugh) ha, ha, come on Chris man let me get a word in edgeways here will you?... what are the gloves for?
(Nervous laugh) ha, ha, come on Chris man let me get a word in edgeways here will you?... what are the gloves for?
Chris doesn’t speak, but looks down to the kitchen knife and smiles. Oliver follows his gaze. Sees the knife and lunges for it. Chris gets there first, there is a short struggle before Chris pushes the knife into Oliver’s chest
INT. Phil’s car – day
Phil re-watches Saskia’s murder
32
INT. Janet’s house – day
Janet is on the phone.
Janet
… It’s just that the way the two officers spoke about him made me worry. What shall I do if he comes back?... oh I see. Can you tell me what he was arrested for?.. No, I understand
INT. police interview room - day… It’s just that the way the two officers spoke about him made me worry. What shall I do if he comes back?... oh I see. Can you tell me what he was arrested for?.. No, I understand
33
Jeff
Just call her, call Janet, she’ll tell you I was at her place at then. I couldn’t have been on the other side of town at the exact same time. She’ll remember it, we broke up then… that’s when we broke up.
Cop 1
Why did you break up?
Jeff
That’s private. It doesn’t matter
Cop 2
If it doesn’t matter that much, why not tell us?
Jeff
It’s complicated
Just call her, call Janet, she’ll tell you I was at her place at then. I couldn’t have been on the other side of town at the exact same time. She’ll remember it, we broke up then… that’s when we broke up.
Cop 1
Why did you break up?
Jeff
That’s private. It doesn’t matter
Cop 2
If it doesn’t matter that much, why not tell us?
Jeff
It’s complicated
34
INT. Jeff and Anna’s house – day
Anna is sitting on the couch. She looks sad. The doorbell rings and she gets up to answer it. She opens the door but there is no one there. As she closes the door she notices an envelope on the welcome mat. The envelope has “for the wife of Jeff Hollander” written on it. Anna opens the envelope and finds a DVD inside. She puts the DVD in the machine and is shocked to witness Saskia’s murder
EXT. Phil films Anna’s reaction as she watches the DVD from a vantage point in the back garden.
35
INT. Police interview room - day
Jeff
No, I’m not saying that, we did have sex, but this thing you said… about her teaching me to be more of a man. That sort of happened but I was just after tips on how to talk to Janet. That was it. I didn’t try to rape her or anything and I didn’t kill her either. Haven’t you talked to Janet yet? I was there. Once you talk to her you can stop wasting your time with me and find the real guy.
Cop 1
We did talk to Janet
Jeff
Well why am I still here?
Cop 1
She said the break up you describe in such detail happened the day before.
Jeff
That can’t be right
Cop 2
I’ll be honest with you Jeff. She gave her reasons for the spilt and as personal as it all was there did seem like there was something she was holding back. Can you think what that might be?
Jeff
All I know is that I didn’t kill that girl
Cop 2
Where did you get that mark above your eye? That looks like it must have hurt
Jeff
I caught it on the car when I was getting in the car
Cop 2
You misjudged how low you had to duck your head. Is that it?
Jeff
Yes
Cop 2
You must have been piling into that car at some speed to actually make a mark like that.
Jeff
I was
Cop 2
It’s unfortunate that you did that at the same time Saskia wrote in her on-line diary that she had to fight you off
Jeff
I wasn’t there. It wasn’t me
Cop 2
Just someone she thought was you?
Cop 1
I got into body language for a while Jeff, went on a course, read a book…
Cop 2
There was even this two disk DVD thing he tried to get me to borrow once
Cop 1
Yes, well all very interesting stuff. We can choose what we say out loud, but it’s much harder to choose what we say with our bodies. You say you are innocent Jeff, but your body language tells me you’re guilty.
Jeff
Don’t we all have things we feel guilty for? Don’t we all carry around a bag full of regrets?
Cop 2
Right Jeff mate you are really bringing me down here. How about we send you back to the cells for a while so you can think about emptying out your bag of regrets all over this table?
No, I’m not saying that, we did have sex, but this thing you said… about her teaching me to be more of a man. That sort of happened but I was just after tips on how to talk to Janet. That was it. I didn’t try to rape her or anything and I didn’t kill her either. Haven’t you talked to Janet yet? I was there. Once you talk to her you can stop wasting your time with me and find the real guy.
Cop 1
We did talk to Janet
Jeff
Well why am I still here?
Cop 1
She said the break up you describe in such detail happened the day before.
Jeff
That can’t be right
Cop 2
I’ll be honest with you Jeff. She gave her reasons for the spilt and as personal as it all was there did seem like there was something she was holding back. Can you think what that might be?
Jeff
All I know is that I didn’t kill that girl
Cop 2
Where did you get that mark above your eye? That looks like it must have hurt
Jeff
I caught it on the car when I was getting in the car
Cop 2
You misjudged how low you had to duck your head. Is that it?
Jeff
Yes
Cop 2
You must have been piling into that car at some speed to actually make a mark like that.
Jeff
I was
Cop 2
It’s unfortunate that you did that at the same time Saskia wrote in her on-line diary that she had to fight you off
Jeff
I wasn’t there. It wasn’t me
Cop 2
Just someone she thought was you?
Cop 1
I got into body language for a while Jeff, went on a course, read a book…
Cop 2
There was even this two disk DVD thing he tried to get me to borrow once
Cop 1
Yes, well all very interesting stuff. We can choose what we say out loud, but it’s much harder to choose what we say with our bodies. You say you are innocent Jeff, but your body language tells me you’re guilty.
Jeff
Don’t we all have things we feel guilty for? Don’t we all carry around a bag full of regrets?
Cop 2
Right Jeff mate you are really bringing me down here. How about we send you back to the cells for a while so you can think about emptying out your bag of regrets all over this table?
36
INT. A hallway in the police station – day
Cops 1 and 2 stand in front of the coffee machine getting coffee
Cop 2
So you’re the expert in “body language” he do it or not?
Cop1
All I can tell is that he did something. Something he feels guilty about
Cop 2
Something worse than screwing around behind his wife’s back?
Cop 1
That all depends on his morals doesn’t it. He might think it a mortal sin, or no big thing.
Cop 2
So what do we do with him?
Cop 1
Charge him. Process him, and let a jury decide on whether or not he’s guilty. If he can’t tell us the truth, fuck him.
So you’re the expert in “body language” he do it or not?
Cop1
All I can tell is that he did something. Something he feels guilty about
Cop 2
Something worse than screwing around behind his wife’s back?
Cop 1
That all depends on his morals doesn’t it. He might think it a mortal sin, or no big thing.
Cop 2
So what do we do with him?
Cop 1
Charge him. Process him, and let a jury decide on whether or not he’s guilty. If he can’t tell us the truth, fuck him.
Fade to black
37
INT. Prison/A hospital corridor - day
Jeff is on a call phone on one of the wings a queue of intimidating men stand behind him
Janet is on her mobile
Jeff
Janet, Janet, don’t hang up, please. What are you doing, you’ve got to help me. You know I didn’t kill that girl
Janet
You’ve been charged with murder. Isn’t that true? Didn’t you actually kill two people?
Jeff
That was an accident. You know that, and I’m sorry I really am
Janet
Then why haven’t you told the police all about it?
Jeff
Why do you care? You said you felt nothing for them. Why do you want justice for them so badly?
Janet
I’ve lived my entire life pretending to be the person I wish I were. Watching how people show love and copying that. Just to fit in. when my cat died I cried, cried my eyes out. I wasn’t sad but I needed to show people how normal I was. I became an actress, a good one. Always thinking, “what would Janet do here?” Like “Janet” was a fictional character. The trouble is Janet is flawed. She can’t rise above this. She needs vengeance.
Janet, Janet, don’t hang up, please. What are you doing, you’ve got to help me. You know I didn’t kill that girl
Janet
You’ve been charged with murder. Isn’t that true? Didn’t you actually kill two people?
Jeff
That was an accident. You know that, and I’m sorry I really am
Janet
Then why haven’t you told the police all about it?
Jeff
Why do you care? You said you felt nothing for them. Why do you want justice for them so badly?
Janet
I’ve lived my entire life pretending to be the person I wish I were. Watching how people show love and copying that. Just to fit in. when my cat died I cried, cried my eyes out. I wasn’t sad but I needed to show people how normal I was. I became an actress, a good one. Always thinking, “what would Janet do here?” Like “Janet” was a fictional character. The trouble is Janet is flawed. She can’t rise above this. She needs vengeance.
INT. The hospital corridor – day
Janet closes her phone and stairs out into space. Her husband John is standing behind her.
John
You really are a cold-hearted bitch aren’t you?
Janet
I’m angry that I spent my life living a lie. Someone has to pay for that
John
I did love you, you know that don’t you. Those other women didn’t mean anything to me. They were like… sport.
Janet
I don’t care about the women. Who knows, if we’d known who each other were, maybe I could have joined in
John
Wow! I think I love you even more… it’s a shame I’m dead.
You really are a cold-hearted bitch aren’t you?
Janet
I’m angry that I spent my life living a lie. Someone has to pay for that
John
I did love you, you know that don’t you. Those other women didn’t mean anything to me. They were like… sport.
Janet
I don’t care about the women. Who knows, if we’d known who each other were, maybe I could have joined in
John
Wow! I think I love you even more… it’s a shame I’m dead.
Janet turns round, but there’s no one there.
Fade to black
38
Caption “One month later
INT. An interview room in prison – day
Cops 1 and 2 are sitting waiting behind the table as Jeff is shown in by a guard
Jeff
What’s this about? Have you found new evidence?
Cop 2
Would new evidence be good?
Jeff
Yes, yes it would. Has Janet changed her story?
Cop 1
We found the murder weapon
Jeff
Oh right. That’s good isn’t it?
Cop 2
It was stuck in another murder
Jeff
What!?
Cop 1
Have you seen this man before? (Cop 1 shows Jeff a photograph of Oliver)
Jeff
Er no.
Cop 1
Er no? Er? You don’t sound very sure
Jeff
I am sure. I’ve never seen him before in my life
Cop 2
His name is Oliver Bradbury. He was found three days ago by a property developer hoping to redevelop an old factory unit in town. I think it’s going to be nice when it’s done. The place has got those old style factory windows
Cop 1
Yes well anyway he’d been dead a good while. We had to use the DNA database to identify him. Forensics tells us that he’d been dead about a month. Which puts his time of death around about the same time as Saskia’s death. Give or take a day or two.
Cop 2
The knife that killed Saskia. The one that was missing from her kitchen was stuck in his chest.
Cop 1
This is where it gets tricky for you Jeff. Oliver was wearing a black plastic jacket. The sort thing that is excellent for getting fingerprints from
Cop 2
Your fingerprints Jeff. Hundreds of them.
Jeff
That’s because that’s my coat! It sounds like my coat. I left it at Saskia’s He must have stole it.
Cop 1
We thought of that. So we showed an identical coat to your wife, but she says never owned a coat like that
Jeff
That’s not right. She bought it for me. I don’t know where but she did. She’s lying
Cop 1
Has any one else seen you in this coat?
Jeff
Only Janet, I didn’t really like it
Cop 1
So what do you think she’ll say if we ask her?
Jeff
I can guess
Cop 1
She’s lying, and so is Janet. Are they conspiring against you? If they are you’ve got to ask your self which one killed Saskia and Oliver?
Jeff
Janet. It has to be Janet. She’s the cold-hearted bitch.
Cop 1
But you said you were with Janet at the time of Saskia’s murder
Jeff
Erm, Anna didn’t do it. It’s not in her there must be someone else
Cop 2
It doesn’t look good does it Jeff
Jeff
No, it doesn’t
Cop 1
The facts as they stand all point to you. Now that’s either because you did it or because there are still things we don’t know.
Why would Anna lie to us? Is she the sort of woman who would send a man away forever for screwing around?
Jeff
No, I don’t think so
Cop 2
If you can come up with a better theory than it was you who killed Saskia and Oliver Bradbury, I’d love to hear it Jeff
Jeff
Yeah, me too
What’s this about? Have you found new evidence?
Cop 2
Would new evidence be good?
Jeff
Yes, yes it would. Has Janet changed her story?
Cop 1
We found the murder weapon
Jeff
Oh right. That’s good isn’t it?
Cop 2
It was stuck in another murder
Jeff
What!?
Cop 1
Have you seen this man before? (Cop 1 shows Jeff a photograph of Oliver)
Jeff
Er no.
Cop 1
Er no? Er? You don’t sound very sure
Jeff
I am sure. I’ve never seen him before in my life
Cop 2
His name is Oliver Bradbury. He was found three days ago by a property developer hoping to redevelop an old factory unit in town. I think it’s going to be nice when it’s done. The place has got those old style factory windows
Cop 1
Yes well anyway he’d been dead a good while. We had to use the DNA database to identify him. Forensics tells us that he’d been dead about a month. Which puts his time of death around about the same time as Saskia’s death. Give or take a day or two.
Cop 2
The knife that killed Saskia. The one that was missing from her kitchen was stuck in his chest.
Cop 1
This is where it gets tricky for you Jeff. Oliver was wearing a black plastic jacket. The sort thing that is excellent for getting fingerprints from
Cop 2
Your fingerprints Jeff. Hundreds of them.
Jeff
That’s because that’s my coat! It sounds like my coat. I left it at Saskia’s He must have stole it.
Cop 1
We thought of that. So we showed an identical coat to your wife, but she says never owned a coat like that
Jeff
That’s not right. She bought it for me. I don’t know where but she did. She’s lying
Cop 1
Has any one else seen you in this coat?
Jeff
Only Janet, I didn’t really like it
Cop 1
So what do you think she’ll say if we ask her?
Jeff
I can guess
Cop 1
She’s lying, and so is Janet. Are they conspiring against you? If they are you’ve got to ask your self which one killed Saskia and Oliver?
Jeff
Janet. It has to be Janet. She’s the cold-hearted bitch.
Cop 1
But you said you were with Janet at the time of Saskia’s murder
Jeff
Erm, Anna didn’t do it. It’s not in her there must be someone else
Cop 2
It doesn’t look good does it Jeff
Jeff
No, it doesn’t
Cop 1
The facts as they stand all point to you. Now that’s either because you did it or because there are still things we don’t know.
Why would Anna lie to us? Is she the sort of woman who would send a man away forever for screwing around?
Jeff
No, I don’t think so
Cop 2
If you can come up with a better theory than it was you who killed Saskia and Oliver Bradbury, I’d love to hear it Jeff
Jeff
Yeah, me too
Caption: - “Five months later.”
39
INT. A prison visiting room – day
Anna sits across from Jeff.
Anna
How are you?
Jeff
Okay I guess, you know considering. How are you?
Anna
I miss you.
Jeff
You’ve got to know Anna, I didn’t kill that girl, or that other guy. I’ve done a lot of bad things. I slept with other women, I know, I admit that, but I didn’t kill her. I didn’t. You know that don’t you?
Anna
I know Jeff, I know… your trial starts tomorrow.
Jeff
Why won’t you tell the police the truth about that coat? That stupid coat is the key. If they know it’s mine then it okay for my prints to be on it and the rest of the case falls apart. Are you trying to punish me?
Anna
How’d it come to this eh?
How are you?
Jeff
Okay I guess, you know considering. How are you?
Anna
I miss you.
Jeff
You’ve got to know Anna, I didn’t kill that girl, or that other guy. I’ve done a lot of bad things. I slept with other women, I know, I admit that, but I didn’t kill her. I didn’t. You know that don’t you?
Anna
I know Jeff, I know… your trial starts tomorrow.
Jeff
Why won’t you tell the police the truth about that coat? That stupid coat is the key. If they know it’s mine then it okay for my prints to be on it and the rest of the case falls apart. Are you trying to punish me?
Anna
How’d it come to this eh?
40
INT. A popular pub – night
Jeff is at the bar ordering another drink
Caption: - “seven months ago.”
Jeff
Same again love
Guy 1
What’s up with you tonight Jeff? You’re thirsty
Jeff
Aw, it’s Anna. She’s going on about having a baby again. What the hell do I want a baby for?
Guy 1
Don’t knock fatherhood until you try it mate
Jeff
I just felt as though I was finally getting somewhere. You know, I’d worked hard to pay off that lone two years early, and instead of throwing money into the hole. I thought we could live a bit you know, but instead of that she wants to spend it all on a baby. We can have a baby any time. Now’s the time for living
Guy 1
It’s not that easy mate. Women have this weird “need” thing. If that clocks tickin’ inside her then that’s it, there’ll be no talking to her. She needs a baby like a junkie needs heroin
I felt like you when Jackie said she wanted a baby and I put her off as long as I could but that’s all you can do. Delay it as long as you can. Sooner or later you’ll have to have a baby with her or she’ll fuck off and have one with someone else. We’ve got two now and sure we hardly ever have sex anymore, and sure it is stressful all the worry about this and that. And yes, we’re piss poor too. I wear shit. Eat shit. Drive shit
Jeff
But?
Guy 1
But what?
Jeff
Are you not working up to a but? You know, “but it’s all worth it.” Or something
Guy 1
Oh no mate it’s not worth it mate, you’re fucked, ha, ha, ha!.. I’m just kidding, it’s, er, I don’t know, you love em, so you choose to give it all up for them. You give it all up so that maybe they can have the things you didn’t have, but you know that when they grow up they’ll give it all up too, for their kids
Jeff
(Finishes his drink) thanks for that mate, you really cheered me up
Guy 1
You okay to drive Jeff?
Jeff
Yeah, fine, fine, I’ll be fine
Same again love
Guy 1
What’s up with you tonight Jeff? You’re thirsty
Jeff
Aw, it’s Anna. She’s going on about having a baby again. What the hell do I want a baby for?
Guy 1
Don’t knock fatherhood until you try it mate
Jeff
I just felt as though I was finally getting somewhere. You know, I’d worked hard to pay off that lone two years early, and instead of throwing money into the hole. I thought we could live a bit you know, but instead of that she wants to spend it all on a baby. We can have a baby any time. Now’s the time for living
Guy 1
It’s not that easy mate. Women have this weird “need” thing. If that clocks tickin’ inside her then that’s it, there’ll be no talking to her. She needs a baby like a junkie needs heroin
I felt like you when Jackie said she wanted a baby and I put her off as long as I could but that’s all you can do. Delay it as long as you can. Sooner or later you’ll have to have a baby with her or she’ll fuck off and have one with someone else. We’ve got two now and sure we hardly ever have sex anymore, and sure it is stressful all the worry about this and that. And yes, we’re piss poor too. I wear shit. Eat shit. Drive shit
Jeff
But?
Guy 1
But what?
Jeff
Are you not working up to a but? You know, “but it’s all worth it.” Or something
Guy 1
Oh no mate it’s not worth it mate, you’re fucked, ha, ha, ha!.. I’m just kidding, it’s, er, I don’t know, you love em, so you choose to give it all up for them. You give it all up so that maybe they can have the things you didn’t have, but you know that when they grow up they’ll give it all up too, for their kids
Jeff
(Finishes his drink) thanks for that mate, you really cheered me up
Guy 1
You okay to drive Jeff?
Jeff
Yeah, fine, fine, I’ll be fine
Jeff leaves the pub, gets in his car and drives off.
Fade to black
41
INT. Back in the prison visiting room - day
Anna
Have you given any more thought to having children?
Jeff
What!?!
Anna
I still want kids Jeff. Those feelings won’t go away
Jeff
Are you mad? I’m in here for murder! My trial starts tomorrow! This is why you’re doing this? Because you’re mad!
Anna
Watch this Jeff. It’s important. The quality is a bit poor, I just pointed the phone at the TV. The actual DVD though, well that’s excellent quality.
Jeff
That, that’s Saskia’s murder! Where did you get that?
Anna
Hold on, I just want to make sure it’s deleted
Jeff
What? Why? That proves I’m innocent! You have to show the original to the police! Where did you get that, how long have you had it?
Anna
None of that’s important. What’s important is that in three weeks time I ovulate
Jeff
What?
Anna
You are going to go down for murder, and in three weeks time you will arrange to have a conjugal visit. Every time I ovulate you will have a conjugal visit until I get pregnant. Then I’ll show the police that DVD and you will be freed. You don’t need to worry about money. You will be able to afford a child once we get the compensation for your wrongful imprisonment.
Jeff
…
Anna
So what’s it to be? Fatherhood or life in prison?
Have you given any more thought to having children?
Jeff
What!?!
Anna
I still want kids Jeff. Those feelings won’t go away
Jeff
Are you mad? I’m in here for murder! My trial starts tomorrow! This is why you’re doing this? Because you’re mad!
Anna
Watch this Jeff. It’s important. The quality is a bit poor, I just pointed the phone at the TV. The actual DVD though, well that’s excellent quality.
Anna shows Jeff the murder on her mobile phone
Jeff
That, that’s Saskia’s murder! Where did you get that?
Anna
Hold on, I just want to make sure it’s deleted
Jeff
What? Why? That proves I’m innocent! You have to show the original to the police! Where did you get that, how long have you had it?
Anna
None of that’s important. What’s important is that in three weeks time I ovulate
Jeff
What?
Anna
You are going to go down for murder, and in three weeks time you will arrange to have a conjugal visit. Every time I ovulate you will have a conjugal visit until I get pregnant. Then I’ll show the police that DVD and you will be freed. You don’t need to worry about money. You will be able to afford a child once we get the compensation for your wrongful imprisonment.
Jeff
…
Anna
So what’s it to be? Fatherhood or life in prison?
Anna smiles
Fade to black
End
